Purgatory (bxb)

Chapter 5

"So now I hide, I keep my secrets locked inside. I'll sever out the truth, so the world can see my lies."
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When you meet someone for the first time, do you try to make a good first impression, show everything you're not, and try to keep up that farce until it becomes too much to bear?

Do you act normally, show your strengths and flaws and everything you are, like an open book, and let them be the judge of who you are?

Or do you keep your distance, detach your emotions, and greet them as a stranger?

I don't know, but you sure as hell don't electrocute someone.

My hand still tingles with the sparks, and it's starting to annoy me. It's so distracting I can't focus properly in class, and Kyle may be living in his childish little world, but I have grades to keep up.

To be honest, I expected Kyle to be a lot more mature than Aiden was. They had lived together for years, after all. Apparently their parents are close friends and they all bought a house together. Sounds ridiculous, if you ask me.

Well, it just goes to show that there's no point in expecting anything. Expectation is just another word for disappointment.

He wouldn't stop staring at me, either, from the moment we met. It is unnerving.

Do you ever get the feeling of being watched, your every movement scrutinised and judged by someone, like a predator watched its prey? It sends shivers down your spine, has you looking over your shoulder every now and then, walking a little faster, holding your head lower.

Sometimes you don't even know if you are being watched, sometimes it's just a figment of your imagination. But sometimes, when you are certain there is someone watching you, is it better for you to know who it is, or live in constant suspicion and paranoia?

I don't know how I feel about Kyle.

Aiden would text me while out of the country, before we lost contact. He would tell me all about Kyle, how he was sarcastic and mean but loved his friends and family with a fierce passion, and how he would never let Aiden have his fun.

I would tell him his definition of fun was completely abnormal.

I didn't have much of an impression of Kyle before today, apart from the fact that he is way more mature than Aiden is. Of course, I also knew that Aiden thinks he's a nice person, but Aiden thinks everyone's a nice person, so that's pretty irrelevant.

Kyle has blond hair and black eyes, and I would go on to describe how his hair was the colour of sunshine, his eyes the colour of the night sky, but I live in reality, not in metaphoric daydreams. It's pathetic when you can't even appreciate their looks for what they are without comparing them to something else.

He's tall too, with a pretty nice voice. I'm pretty sure he has girls swarming around him. Three months ago he may be the type I would develop a crush on.

Three months ago, but not now.

Meeting him was different, he came across as the average 'nice guy' who makes friends easily, who loves easily, but has enough common sense to not be taken advantage of. Our first meeting was not your typical 'smile and shake hands' greeting. Sure, the smiling and shaking hands were there, but there were also electrocution and a lot of sniffing.

I still can't believe he sniffed me.

What, did I smell?

I would refuse to think too much on that, there is no point trying to figure out the non-existent limits of human stupidity, but I can't.

Kyle unnerves me. We've only met once and he's already trapped me in my mind, I can't stop thinking about him, or feeling this, either. I don't even know what this is I'm feeling and it frustrates me.

Honestly, I don't even know if my hand is the only thing tingling anymore.
---

I brisk-walk out of my last class and head for the exit. Maybe if I'm fast I can avoid-

"Nick!"

I withhold a sigh. One of these days I will reach my breaking point, and when that happens, I don't want anyone near me.

But Aiden is here, and it's impossible to avoid him.

I turn around, and note that Kyle is with him, and he is staring at me. I snap.

"Why do you keep staring at me?"

I am annoyed and frustrated and confused, and Kyle isn't helping.

Aiden looks at me confused, then looks to Kyle who now looks a little ashamed. His eyes widen in what seems to be realisation.

"So that's why you tried to sniff him!" He exclaims loudly, and Kyle shushes him.

Do you ever get the feeling of being left out, the butt of the joke, the person everyone laughs about behind their back?

When your friends leave you out of conversations, as if you are not there, it's not a nice feeling.

Loneliness in a crowd.

I am beyond annoyed now.

"What the hell are you talking about? What's with the sniffing?"

Aiden looks to me.

"Well, that's because we're-" he begins, but Kyle places his hand over Aiden's mouth.

I am going to punch somebody.

"Forget it." I snap and turn to walk away. I'm not going to push if they don't want to tell me. I don't care to know, either. Curiosity killed the cat, they say, but a cat has nine lives, and I have one. "Just stop staring at me."

You know what? I'd appreciate if he doesn't even come anywhere near me.

"Nick-" I jerk away as Kyle touches my shoulder. I glare at his hands but there isn't a prank device anywhere.

"How do you do that?" I shake my head. "No, why do you keep doing that? It isn't even funny!"

He is the type of person I never want to acquaint myself with. I have snapped too many times today and I have never lost this much control of my emotions in three months.

I lock eyes with him, and I can't look away.

He makes me feel.

And I hate it.