Can someone fear entering a house?
Is it normal that every part of that structure causes me pain?
I'm looking at the house from several steps away, but in the blink of an eye, I'm drawn closer,
I'm walking up to the porch, on the steps they sat on and spoke for hours,
The steps I'd overhear them rewind their life's story,
Those are the very same steps I told them about my dreams and what I aspired to become,
I'm inside now, I see the hallway I would frequently run across to bother them for sweets, tea, and advice,
The hallway where everything was perfectly arranged as if it were from a magazine,
The hallway where you felt at home, filled with peace and a sense of belonging,
I look to my left and see the kitchen where the best cakes were made and the best food was served,
The kitchen where I made a giant mess each time I was asked for an ingredient,
The kitchen where I tasted the newly cooked food when no one was watching,
But what pains the most is the room that stood before me,
The room they slept in,
The room they prayed and watched TV in,
The room where I'm most hesitant to walk to because it held all the memories,
The room in which I wish I could visit once more, with some secret potion to go back in time,
I want to be there with them one last time, to tell them how much they meant to me, how much I loved them and which of my dreams and aspirations have actually come true,
But that is not possible anymore..
Is it normal that I fear entering that house because it brings back so many memories?
--
June 2016 - Grandparents
STAI LEGGENDO
Letting go
Storie breviThese are a few short stories of me coping with loss due to death. It started out with losing my grandparents, and now, most recently, my dad. I'm publishing this in hopes that it helps someone else feel like they're not alone.
