Loving A Sinner

Nyree Victoria Carter

I wasn't playing with him. Staring at his emotionless face, it took everything in me not to stab him. I didn't want to go to jail and I didn't want him to think that he won.

He broke me, after all these years, he finally broke me.

He wasn't sorry, he wasn't remorseful. He didn't care, he looked me in my face like he could be somewhere else rather than deal with me and what I was telling him. His whole demeanor seemed like he's heard me say this more than once and he didn't want to hear it again.

"So you have nothing to say?" I asked.

"What should I say?"

"Seriously Tyler? Don't you see my face? You don't care about how hurt I am? You think this shit is cool that you went ahead and messed with that girl knowing damn well how I felt about you? Not only that, you had her smiling in my face like the shit was gravy, but the whole time, y'all were fucking. You really hurt me."

"Damn Ny, I'm sorry. What else you want me to say?? It's not going to change anything. It happened and it's done, I'm sorry."

I wasn't taking that whack ass apology. I don't know what the fuck he thought.

I shook my head, "That apology was as weak as your dick game."

He glanced at me like I had stepped on his dreams, "Really Ny? You would take to that extend? Shit."

"Would you want to be with me if I cheated on you? Would you take me back."

He looked at me like I lost my mind, "Hell no. Why?"

I shook my head, "Double standards ass nigga . You have the nerve to fuck her and other females, but if it was me, you would've kicked my ass to the curb like it was nothing."

"Man Ny.......," he looked away from me.

"You bold as fuck to cheat and shit, but can't look me in my face. What kind of shit is that? Then you tried talking to Asia and Tisha? My friends?? I'm not going to blame myself because you can't just have one girl at a time. None of this is my fault. You can't keep your dick in your pants and I'm damn sure not shedding a tear over you. Your dick wasn't even all that and you're a minute man. So all that bigging up your chest needs to stop. I was stupid enough to let you continue do what the hell you wanted when I could barely enjoy myself because I was being faithful. Little did I know, you were out here hoeing around, getting your dick wet . All of the shit you put me through for the past couple of years stops today."

"Keliah- Ny, you don't mean that."

"Excuse you?? So you gonna call me that girl's name?? You got some damn nerve. I'll go upside your head right now. You know what? Get the fuck out my house," I snapped.

"Ny-"

"Get the fuck out!"

He made his way to the door and left. I plopped on the couch, tucking my feet under me as I switched on the tv.

I wasn't going to shed any tears over him. He wasn't worth it anymore. Time and time again, I would hope that he'd change, but he was still the cheating ass nigga I knew he would be. I didn't know why I kept taking him back, shit with him was never going to change. I should've known that too.

It was a pattern with us. We'd be together, things would be great, but then he would cheat and I would find out. My dumb ass would take him back and the cycle would repeat itself so much that Asia and Tisha knew it by heart. They wouldn't be surprised when I told them that we would work it out. Some things can't be worked out.