Wings

Message Recieved

Hello all :)

Wow, I am so sorry for not updating in such a long time but I can assure you that I am back and that the story, or at least the first part, will be finished tonight. 

This is all Normani's POV and the next chapter will be Lauren's as we close out. Things seem to be getting worse and worse for the girls but closure is coming soon.

I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter and be on the look out for the next!

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Normani reread the message Lauren sent her over three times before Ally asked what was wrong. She played it off like it was nothing, looked to her friend and smiled "I got into Julliard." She said halfheartedly.

Ally clapped her hands together and pulled her in for a hug "Oh, Mani I'm so happy for you. You're going to be great, girl." She pulled away and smiled "Are you going to go tell Lauren?"

Normani pursed her lips together and shook her head "No, I'm really tired. I kind of just want to go to sleep." She answered honestly.

Ally nodded "Okay, well get some rest and promise me you'll straighten everything out tomorrow. You don't have that much time left here and you shouldn't leave without getting everything out in the open."

"I promise."   

Normani's heart was so heavy in that moment and Ally could tell, she could hear the shakiness in her voice as she spoke, see the tears welling up in her eyes. She placed her hands on both sides of Normani's face, forcing her to look down into her eyes "Lauren cares so much about you, Normani. I know, I can tell. And I know you feel confused and stuck, you're not sure if she's going to respond the way you want her to but time is running out. You gotta get it all out in the open now, before it's too late. Pouring your heart out might seem like the most terrifying thing but you will feel so much better once you've done it, no matter the outcome. Trust me."

Normani smiled again and whispered a thanks to Ally before walking across the hall to her room.

In a few short hours, her situation with Lauren had went from complicated to heartbreaking.

She slipped into the room and was thankful to see that Dinah was already asleep. She slipped off her shoes and climbed into her bed, pulling the covers up to her neck and then reaching down and unlocking her cellphone.

She read the message again, burning it into her brain as if it were like finding buried treasure and not just a bunch of words.

Wow, she hated this.

She hated that Lauren had to find out about her leaving early from someone else and even more that it had actually hurt her. She had planned on telling Lauren, she was going to do it earlier that day when they were in her room before Lauren decided to kiss her and everything fell apart.

She knew what she'd promised Ally and she knew that it was important to get to Lauren before she left but tomorrow wasn't going to be the day. She couldn't muster up the courage to even reply to Lauren's text like she knew she should've because she was afraid.

Normani had been burdened with thoughts of Lauren since the first day they'd met. She'd spent every waking moment wondering and wishing she knew what was going on in the girl's mind and now she finally knew and the only reaction she could come up with was fear.

For the rest of the night, she pretended that she'd never read the message, that Lauren wasn't real, that she was just an ex that Normani had long since gotten over for the sake of her sanity. None of it worked.

By the time it was 3 AM Normani had read the text about two dozen times and accepted at that point that she wouldn't be able to sleep and that she wouldn't be able to pretend that Lauren just didn't exist.

She was real, she was in love with her, and Normani was leaving her behind for a dream.

It had made so much more sense before then, Normani had to spread her wings and fly, she wasn't going to let anyone stop her. She had always been dance. Even after she'd hung up her pointe shoes and picked up a major that would lead to dentistry she'd still secretly obsess over being a dancer. Fate had finally brought her back to where she had always wanted to be but now when she closed her eyes she wasn't seeing that dream anymore, all she was picturing was long, dark, wavy hair and beauty marks shaped like stars and green eyes.

All she wanted in that moment was to rewind time to the split second where Lauren had kissed her and her world stopped spinning, pause, and stay there forever.

...

Normani had managed to avoid Lauren and pretty much everyone for the next couple of days, chalking it up to having to study for her exit exams. She had found solace in completely losing herself in her studies, devoting all of her time to making sure that she was ready to leave SFSU with a bang.

After all, she needed more than a great audition video to make it into Julliard. A good transcript along with some excellent letters of recommendation and a well written essay would be the things to ensure that Normani's transition would be smooth.

They'd be awaiting her final grades for that semester before they finalized her acceptance.

She'd been doing really well on her own up until her essay. She'd written it, met the word count requirement, but felt uneasy about the flow. In that moment, as she proof read it again in defeat she wished that she could just call Lauren and ask for help.

She knew that wasn't an option, though. Calling Lauren for help would also mean having to finally have that talk. Normani had heard what Ally said about the relief one feels when she pours out her heart and had considered it but at that point the relief didn't seem like it was worth the agonizing pain actually going through with it was bringing her.

Realizing that she needed Lauren's help also made Normani realized how badly she wanted her there. Lauren should've been there to reassure her and to clear up her view the way she always had before. And aside from always being that voice of reason and light at the end of the tunnel, she was the girl that Normani was in love with and Normani wanted her there. She missed her terribly.

Seeing her would mean moving forward towards a cliff with an unforeseen future and thinking back was just a reminder of everything that Lauren was for Normani and everything that she'd never be to her.

She decided that staying right where she was at least until further notice was the best move. She brought her essay to the writing center on campus and went back to focusing on her last few exams knowing that the real test was right around the corner.

She had been able to avoid Lauren but she knew that wasn't going to last forever. She knew she couldn't let it.