Heavy Wears The Crown

Forty One

As this I started sobbing, as if I wasn't freaking out enough before. Through blubbers I cried out the typical "Please don't. You don't have to do this. I won't tell anyone!" And so on.

When his free hand started going up my shirt I bucked to try to shake him and screamed. He slapped me again and then held the hand previously exploring me over my mouth to muffle my cries. "If you scream I will shove your panties in your mouth and put tape over it." He warned.

I whimpered through sobs and nodded when he moved his hand again I didn't scream but rather tried to control my sobbing.

He was talking, trying to be soothing. Assuring me everything was alright, that he wasn't going to hurt me, to just relax and enjoy. He let go of my wrists and sat up, still straddling me to unbutton his pants and then came in for a kiss.

His lips found mine, a hand on my waist and other on the crook of my neck. I reached, grabbed the remaining beer bottle from the coffee table and swung. Hitting him over the head. It shattered, spraying both of us and the couch beside us with beer and glass. He was off of me in seconds, holding his head with one hand and the couch for support with the other.

I made a run for it, thanking the heavens my obsessive organization and predictability in leaving the keys on the hook right beside the door making it possible for me to grab them on the run.

"Carter!" Kaleb screamed from the doorway as I flew down the lawn barefoot.

He stumbled after me, holding his bleeding head. By the time I revved the engine he'd smacked his hands down on the hood of the car. He looked like hell, head matted with blood, soaking the collar of his shirt all ready, his nose and cheek still injured and in undoing his pants he had lost them on his run to the car.

I floored it backwards, out of his grasp and backwards halfway down the street before slamming into someone's mailbox, I smashed my foot on the brakes and then hitting the gas hard and flying down the street.

Somehow, I was sobbing harder as I drove away than I had been when Kaleb was on top of me. Maybe it the adrenaline. Maybe it was insanity. Maybe it was years of trying to hold everything in was now quickly unraveling.

I didn't know what to do. Where to go. Who to call. Actually, I had no phone. Kaleb had broken mine. I couldn't call anyone. It was suddenly so many years ago, it was suddenly the day the video had come out. I was suddenly ashamed, and embarrassed, and too scared to turn to anyone out of some sort of deep rooting self-blame.

Kaleb was here because Nolan had attacked him. Nolan had attacked him because I had told him what happened. It had happened because I had been an irresponsible drinker. They had planned it because I had acted too stuck up. This never ending string of connecting events was becoming unbearable.

I couldn't go to the girls without explaining things from the beginning. Rita was the only one who knew what had happened between Kaleb and me. If I went to them they would all find out everything. I didn't want anyone to know.

I stopped the car after ten or fifteen minutes of driving just about aimlessly. I was suddenly feeling exhausted and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't go home. What if he came back? What if he was still there?

I parked across the street from a playground and took the keys out of the ignition. I slumped back in the seat and let the keys sit on my lap. After a moment I reached up to touch my head, I flinched. I considered for a moment looking at my fingers to see blood, or opening the visor to see the damage in the mirror, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know. How was I supposed to explain this to the girls? Where could I go when I couldn't going home? What was I supposed to do? Who could I find to get the smell of beer out of my car for a reasonable price as my soaked shirt was now dampening the seat?

"I hit someone over the head with a beer bottle." I thought out loud. "I can't believe I hit someone over the head with a beer bottle."

I looked out the window at the kids playing in the park. There seemed to be a small disagreement on who was going to push who on the swings between two of them. All together there were six of them. Statistically speaking, at least one would be sexually assaulted before they turned 18. I remember the statistics well. Remembered Dad, the lawyer, knew them like the back of his hand...one in four girls, one in six boys, 8 out of 10 knowing their assaulter and of those assaulted as a child over one third would again be as an adu-

I scarcely had time to open the car door, and nearly fell out of the car, before I lost my lunch on the side of the road.

What if I had been drinking cans instead of bottles? What if I hadn't been drinking beer at all? I didn't even like beer. What would I have done? How would I have gotten away? What if the bottle wouldn't have stopped him, what if it would have killed him? I couldn't live with killing someone...but what if he'd killed me? What if I wouldn't have had my keys on the hook beside the door, or if when I ran into the mailbox the air bag deployed and he pulled me back out of the car what if-

I found myself hunched over, hands on knees vomiting again. I pulled myself back into the car quickly, needing to leave immediately after awkwardly hurling on the side of the road across from the playground. What those parents must think, what I must look like.

I shoved the key back into the ignition and something caught my eye that made me slow.

One of the keys on my key ring...

Nolan's key. I could go to his house. He was on tour. I could go for a few days, Kaleb would surely be gone then. Nolan's would provide a safe house for the time being.

He was on tour. He would never know anyway.

I turned the car on, finally settled on a destination.

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TGIF!

And a very intense chapter indeed :X I tried to update for you guys before I went to sleep but wattpad was having some issues. Some serious issues.

It's okay wattpad you diva, we still love you 💙

Pretty sure I used this song on another chapter but I was drawing a blank on this one. So intense I didn't know where to go with it. Definitely open to suggestions!

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