Avengers x Reader (One-Shot)

Prompts

I blame BBuchananBarnes for giving me this idea.

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1: "One plum, Two plum, I see a perfect pair to squeeze."

2: "Even Satan is afraid of me, back off."

3: "Go to hell, yet, say hi to Red Skull for me."

4: "Here, let me get you the dick crown, you dick."

5: "Even Brendon Urie is jealous of that ass.."

6: "Hey, toss me a- MOTHER FUCKER! Right up main street!"

7: "Watching your mother and father grow old in front of you is scary ass balls."

8: "Where'd you get that, a fortune cookie?"

9: "No! Dying was are number one rule not to!"

10: "You did what to who with a pencil?"

11: "Hawkeye, you'd been replaced."

12: "One time, I took a group of males out with only the hair bands. They woke up with two sore eyes."

Tell me anythin' you want me to add. Bai!