Unrequited

Chapter 10

Disappointed. Again.

Angry. Again.

Drinking. Again.

Ed wasn't the person she wanted him to be. Or needed him to be. Deep down she guesses she always knew that one way or another. The emotional side of her wants to say that if Elliot claims he's changed then maybe Ed has too. But if she had been a person led by her emotions then she would be living a much different life than she is now. She's always let rationality rein supreme even if her heart wanted something different.

Things could've been different if Ed hadn't forced Elliot's hand to resign. Or would they have been? She would never have the answer to that question. Trying to remind herself that things always turn out the way they are supposed to be, she lets the tears roll down her cheek quietly not bothering to wipe them away.

She doesn't know how it got this way. When she started existing instead of living. She has Noah, she's a mother. That should be enough to make her happy. But it's not. There's still a piece that's missing. Something that doesn't quite add up. Laying her head against the back of the tub she tries to remember when it all went sideways. She's had more than her share of tragedies in her life but there was something that made this all different.

Maybe she shouldn't be missing those appointments with her therapist for work.

Maybe she needs more help than she thought.

Maybe it was a bad idea to be Lieutenant and she should've just stayed a detective.

.....Maybe she just needs to go to bed.

After sparring with Mark and talking a little bit after when they both changed clothes and headed out, Elliot decided to call Pippa. Everything with Olivia was up in the air and he didn't know where it would lead but one thing he wouldn't do is lead Pippa on. Especially since her and Olivia worked together. She answered when he called and he could tell she was a bit put off until he asked her to meet up at a small restaurant near her place.

Now he stands outside waiting for her, his hands stuck nervously in the pocket of his jeans fiddling around with loose change. He doesn't have anything prepared of what he will say or how he will say it, all he plans to tell her is the truth and hope that she doesn't hate him.

Elliot pulls his phone out of his pocket, a little disappointed that he doesn't have a message or call from Olivia.

She must still be out with Tucker.

He exhales and starts to pace back and forth on the surprisingly quiet sidewalk. There are a few stragglers who watch him for a brief second and go back to their business.

"Hey there you are," Pippa says as she walks towards him. Her red hair is perfectly straight and she's dressed somewhat casually in dark blue jeans, a cream blouse and dark blue crop jacket. She's a beautiful woman no doubt but as is the case with any woman he's met after his divorce, she's just not Olivia.

Elliot pulls her into a hug. "Thanks for meeting me on such short notice."

Pippa steps back and looks into his eyes and her demeanor instantly changes. She knows. "It's not a problem," she says cooly. "Ready to go in?"

"Yeah." Opening the door for her, he falls in step close behind as they settle at a small table near the back. For a Friday night, it's pretty quiet and he's thankful that his many years of being a New Yorker has afforded him the ability to know where the hole in the walls are with the best food.

They are only sitting down for a minute, when Pippa clasps her hands together staring him straight on. "You aren't interested in seeing me anymore are you?"