Deep Secrets

Friends?

"I'm not eating that!" Izaya yelped.

"You sick you have to take the medicine. Please. Your fever is making you delusional. I dont want to have to take you to the hospital." Shizuo complained holding a spoonful of pink liquid before Izaya.

Izaya coughed a deep cough then grabbed at his chest as the burn stabbed around his heart. He groaned and laid back down. His eyes red and lips cracked. He sniffled then glared at Shizuo. Shizuo sighed and pulled the flea up holding him steady then shoved the spoon I his mouth like a stubborn pet. Izaya gagged at the fowl taste. Shizuo hugged him and rubbed his back.

"See that wasn't so bad. Maybe you can keep more food down now. " Shizuo said calmly.

"Ah your so mean stop touching me bruit. I'm fine. See all better leave me alone...." Izaya growled then coughed into Shizuos shoulder."ug I feel like crap.... I'm never walking in the rain again."

"You were in a long sleeve shirt and skinny jeans. You were soaked! Hey easy... Just take a deep breath." Shizuo said running his big hand over the bones on Izayas back. "Shinra said your arms are healing nicely. You chest still hurt? I herd what caused that." Shizuo sighed.

"Grrr I ate all the pills in Shinra's house. Most of them were sleeping pills and some junk for old people's failing organs. Instead they made mine fail. Hearts never truely heal when they are broken. Stop holding me! I'm not a child." Izaya grumbled. "Can you give me a tissue...."

"Ah Izaya..... Your a boney little flea." Shizuo turned back and grabbed the tissue box. "Here you go." He watched Izaya blow his nose then grabbed the garbage can. "Its late actually the sun has gone down. Want some sushi?" Shizuo asked.

"I'm fine... I don't want anything." Izaya grumble stubbornly pushing Shizuo away weakly then laying down curling up. "If I die. Spread my ashes in the ocean...."

"Hah its just a cold your not going to die." Shizuo chuckled he put a hand on Izayas back massaging his shoulders he felt how tense Izaya was.

"Stop touching me. Before you get any.... "He pushed his head into the pillow coughing loudly." Ideas.... I'm exhausted. Go away now."

"I'm trying to be nice. Im not going to hurt you Izaya. Why can't you trust me.... I'm not leaving you alone. Again. Been there done that. We have to lock the windows because of your stupid decisions." Shizuo grumbled.

"I knew if I jumped it would at least break my neck. And you had to grab me." Izaya growled.

" Just try and get some sleep. Ok?" Shizuo spoke softly.

"Good night Bruit." Izaya coughed then went into a deep sleep.

Shizuo smiled tucking the blackets around the thin frame. He brushed hair out of Izayas face. Izaya slept with his mouth open breathing heavily his nose stuffy. The blond got up with a sigh. Then went to bed himself. He woke up to a gagging noise in the bathroom. It was 1am.

"Damnit Izaya!" Shizuo yelled running to the bathroom with a towel. "Is that blood? Izaya!!" Shizuo was pissed.

"Don't hit me! P...please!" Izaya yelled leaning back into the toilet sitting on his knees his left arm dripped blood onto the floor.

"What did you do. I got rid of all the sharp objects?!"Shizuo looked around frantically. "Did you break a hand mirror?? Let me see!?"Shizuo took Izaya right arm and began cleaning it.

"Don't touch me!! L..let...let me go! " Izaya cried tears running down his face.

Shizuo sighed rubbing Izaya's back cleaning him up. His eyes looked concerned. Izaya didn't understand what this feeling was. He leaned into Shizuo sleepily.

"I didn't force it that time.... Dizzy... I was really dizzy..." Izaya said opening up.

"Care to explain your arm then?" Shizuo asked.

"I was trying to run. I think I ran into something. I don't remember.... Everything was spinning." Izaya confessed telling the truth.

"Ah flea what am I going to do with you?" Shizuo asked looking down at the small figure cuddling into him.

Izaya was in his black boxers and Grey short sleeve shirt. His arms were small easy to snap. His legs no different. He shivered hugging his bandaged arm to his chest as guilt pain shot through. He closed his eyes leaning into Shizuo exhausted. Shizuo put a hand on his head. It was warm.

"Well no more jumping off buildings in the rain right?" Shizuo chuckled wiping up the floors. "Let's rent a movie today. I think the store opens at 6 am we can just walk there. Since most people will be asleep." Shizuo said trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't want to go anywhere...." Izaya mumbled clinging onto Shizuo's shirt tightly like a child that had a bad dream. "I feel like throwing up again. Everything hurts."

" ah Izaya. Hmm I think we have peanut butter in the fridge. If you eat some it taste the same way going down as it does coming up." Shizuo said softly. Picking up Izaya. "Shinra said you weigh under 100 pounds. That's not good for you." Shizuo said. He got a spoon and peanut butter out of the fridge.

They sat down on the couch. Shizuo handed Izaya a spoon and opened the lid of the peanut butter since Izaya could not do so himself. He scooped out a big ball if peanut butter from the jar and handed it to Izaya who hesitantly licked it slowly. Shizuo flipped through the TV for a movie to pass the time. Ocassional looking down to make sure Izaya licked up all the peanut butter. It wasn't much but it was protein and a good source of food. He gave Izaya another spoon once he finished his spoonful. He felt the small body lean I to him finding comfort. He didn't show it but was glad he could at least be a safe place for Izaya to open up to. Knowing depression was hard and he took almost every chance he could get to die.

"Hey Izaya?" Shizuo spoke first.

"Hmm?" Izaya mumbled trying to hold back a cough.

"Why do you try to die so many times?" Shizuo asked.

"Don't push my buttons Shizuo." Izaya said horsely.

"I'm not... Its just... Can you answer my question." Shizuo asked.

"No I will not... Its not your concern." Izaya grumbled covering his mouthing letting out a coughing fit.

"I liked it better when you called me Shizu-Chan. Its like your slipping every day." Shizuo said with sadness in his voice.

"I see no point in life. Humans aren't interesting, they all seem to be the same. They all turn on you eventually. Its a repeated cycle. Your the only one I cannot predict." Izaya said taking a deep breath placing a hand on his chest.

"So you want a reason to live because you feel like you have none?" Shizuo asked.

"You could say that." Izaya mumbled closing his eyes dropping the empty spoon on the ground.

"I'll be your reason then." Shizuo said.