Dream Walker

2밤, 22일 12월

2밤, Night 2
December 22, 2013

In the depths of my dreams and light years away from the netherworld I had come to know, a light named Choi Hani came to me in my slumber. She was a warmhearted soul, who found tranquility in a bed of flowers under a white sun; a kindred spirit who smiled to conceal the truth behind her tears; and a lonesome person who found heavenly peace to be quite isolated. Despite her state, she continued to wait the rest of her days in an illusion; a face of masquerades; a facade of lies. Even so, something beautiful about her read courage, and because of that, I admired her.

When she spoke, her voice dared not to break and though she obeyed, smiling with her lips and laughing to the waves of the breeze, there existed a presence that continued to weep from all the sadness welled up inside of her...At the end of our first night, she asked - from me - a favour that seemed impossible for me, but being the way I am, I didn't mind. December twentieth, that night, under the sun, surrounded by a thousand foreign poppies, Choi Hani asked that I not fall in love with her. I made her a promise and she smiled...Nothing told lies worse than the eyes.

• • •

The house was collected, undisturbed, but outside, the mechanical sound of engines roared in the muddy streets. I contemplated anxiously on the sill, watching the events that took place under the gloomy sky and reached out to the world beyond the window. Under my palm, an icy affliction pierced the flesh but I was still. Forcing myself to endure, I wondered if this was how it felt, for Choi Hani; This serrated pain. I imagined how tonight would play out, my hands embracing the icicle breath of winter, unfolding its virus from my knuckles to my fingertips. I remembered the frost, that night, and the glistening stars - I huffed from the burning ache of ice - It was something ethereal, something far too delicate to touch.

I committed myself to a few of my thoughts about tonight's events: I would speak more; For Choi Hani, I will be a good friend. I will try to make her smile, I will make her smile...My desires were announced and I peeled my palm away from the glass pane, witnessing the blood that'd rushed to aid my pale hands. Was this how it must feel like, for Choi Hani? Agonizing and inflamed throughout her frail figure, her tender heart saddended by the forsaken truth of solitary...It was cruel.

The wooden floor creaked with each step I placed upon it, the tenor of promises resonating and wishes whispering into the thin air, and they disappear.

The bedside lamp flickered to the sound of metal coils as I rested upon the bed that no longer held any significant meaning to me. I inhaled to the eerie echoes of silence and awaited my sleep.

In the bleak darkness that was my bedroom, a half-glass cup of water stood tall beside the flickering lamp. It was ten fifty-one but my eyes refused to sleep, my mind persuading me with thoughts that kept me eager and awake. I wanted to see her, I wanted to be with her. My eyes drew to the clock beside me but time lived and time stood still.

It was when I had grown tired of staring at the numbers that seemed unchanging and wished for sleep, that I returned my gaze out the window. Falling gracefully, behind my very reflection, fell a single white flake.

Tonight's moonlight witnessed Daegu's first snow.

Outside, the mechanical sound of engines continued to roar in the night, with the soft harmony of rubber tires driving upon puddles of muddy water. The breeze became heavier then, Winter's wind howling outside my window as snowflakes began to drift to their end, melting as they met my reflection. It was a sight that reminded me of Choi Hani; An innocent soul who'd met her death sooner than she expected. I looked away.