Short Stories & Quotes by Dilumi

Drown

From the day we grew close we were walking side by side. Free together. In my thoughts, one vision and one mind. We knew what path to take, for we were both taking it together. We were bound together, holding hands so tightly it was almost like a rope connecting our wrists so we could never let go.

And I thought we could never let go.

I was by your side whatever happened. I was happy for your happiness and sad for your sadness. I could feel your energy and you could feel mine. When you nearly stumbled over the edge of the path, I pulled you back before you fell too far, no matter how dangerous for me. And I would only rest when I knew you were safe. I thought we were so similar, simply because for so long we had taken the same road.

Then there came a fork in the road.

The other path was so dark I barely saw it. The right path was clear to me as it had always been, to follow the light I'd always known, the light I thought you wanted for yourself too.

But then you chose the other way, pulling from me in a shock of pain that pulsed through me.

I was astonished that your discernment could be so blind, through the eyes I thought so long I could trust.

We mended it once, I thought we could forget. We walked the edge trying to forget. But the rope that held us only began to rub on the scars you gave me from trying to do it on your own. It sank harder and harder into me, as you pulled farther and farther. Faster and faster, oftener and oftener, wider and wider apart you insisted to go from me.

There were people from the other side yelling insults at me, hating me for my light, twisting words to aim them at my heart. I thought you would always be by my side, and yet you decided to join them.

And then you told me you loved me.

You dared to look back like all the others and tell me you loved me.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒.

Not now.

You pulled farther and farther away from me. The rope holding us tightened on my wrist, scarring me more with every new step I decided to take with you, and hurting me more with every step I tried to take away. I could feel the strands weakening.

Maybe you just didn't notice. Or maybe you were only trying to act like nothing was wrong, but you knew deep inside.

We walked on and on, the rope cutting deeper into my skin as I tried to smile for you.

I pleaded as I had always done for you to break from your illusion, but you began to shun me, saying you didn't need my help.

I tried to hold on.

But then the voice in the distance awoke me. It made me realize the wounds were far greater than the pleasure. They were all I could remember. All I was truly holding onto. All I truly knew once you became a person I couldn't even stand.

Or maybe it was me who changed.

And you told me you still loved me.

But all your words were nothing to me, when your actions for so long and far had contradicted them. And I realized I was holding onto blackness. I was trying to heal what could never be healed. My mind was bent towards letting go. And as I looked back at you, it became easier and easier to let go.

To let you run to the place you so desperately craved.

You belonged there. I didn't. I never could.

You told me I was something.

I was nothing to you.

I took my knife. I cut the rope. I cut everything we ever had between us. I told you, 'Run into your blindness, and don't come back looking for me once you fall off that cliff into the fire'. It's what you wanted, wasn't it?

I took my own path, surrounded only by light for the first time since before I met you. And I realized this was what I needed all along, to be free.

I watched you through the trees, stumbling along with all the others. I felt satisfaction, because I had done my part.

And then I realized I wanted you to fall.

I have no mercy. Not for those who take the light I give them, pretend they're going to use it, then throw it away ungratefully, and even when I reach out they won't come.

Did I hear you say you wanted to fall back into that hole I tried for so long to pull you out of? Go on. Take your own road. I don't care anymore, because it's your loss. And I am no longer a part of you.

I tried all I could to help you, but you pushed me away.

You acted like you were fine.

And yet I was the only one who knew how to breathe.

So that then I would have no mercy, watching you drown...

6/16/16