Random Collection of Stuff

Stop! - Script

Theo: (whispers) Stop nudging me, jerk!

Jack: (calmly) Stop being so sensitive, retard.

Theo: Shut up... Just 'cause mum can't hear us, doesn't mean you can do whatever you want.

Jack: Just because you're her favourite, doesn't mean you have to make me the criminal in every situation...

Mother: (hisses) Jack, shut your mouth! This is a church service, not Chinese whispers!

Jack: Whatever, I give up...

Mother: Jack! Shut it! If I have to tell you again then I'll ground you from going to Emily's party tonight!

Jack: See if I care. She's egotistical, too.

Theo: Oh, that Emily...

Jack: (blushes deeply) Can it, Theo! It's none of your business! Anyways, I have no feelings toward her whatsoever, apart from utter malice.

Theo: Pfft... Oh please, you're such a bad liar!

Jack: Says the one who told his whole class that we had an elephant in our backyard!

Mother: I swear, if you bother poor Theo one more time, then you'll be sorry, young man!

Theo: Yeah? Well, people believed me! Kind of... Anyways, I'm not the one who hides drugs in his room...

Jack: Are you crazy?!

Theo: (chuckles) I've known for a while... It's kinda obvious. You know, the way that Freddy Pratt comes sneaking over the back fence sometime around midnight, and you go to meet him...

Jack: (dumbstruck) I swear... If you spit out a single word, I'll crush you!

Theo: Big talk from the guy being kicked out of his home. Well, 'home'. You weren't even born into this family... You're an outsider!

Jack: Shut up!

Theo: Well, soon you won't belong here at all. I need something, Jack, and you'll be the one to get it for me.

SCENE TWO:

(In their garage, adjoining the house. Jack pulls out pack of cigarettes and offers to Theo)

Theo: Hmm... Only one. I told you to get five!

Jack: They ran out! I tried, Theo, I swear.

Theo: But you didn't fulfil the contract, then. There's no deal.

Jack: (shouting) What the hell, Theo?! You said for me to get cigarettes, and you wouldn't tell mum, and now you're pulling out?!

(Theo ignores Jack and pulls out a cigarette from the pack. Jack goes to grab it out of his mouth when Mum enters)

Mum: Boys, boys, what's going on– Oh my god!! Jack?!

Theo: (steps away from Jack after ramming the cigars into Jack's hand) He was forcing me to try one!

Jack: What?! N-no, that's not true! Mum, listen to me!

Theo: He's lying!

Jack: No I'm not, would you just listen for once?!

Mum: Calm down –

Jack: NO! I'm tired of being the criminal, the bad boy, the rebellious adopted kid with problems! Why doesn't anyone treat me like a normal human being?! Why?! It's all I ask for! Forget about money, forget about phones, I just want to be normal! Why don't you understand that...?

Pause.

Mum: We'll... We'll deal with this later. Right now... (Inhales deeply) Oh, that smell... That smokey flavour, that heavenly cloud! Give them to me... Please, just one!

Jack: No... Mum, it's not a good idea... I'm going to throw them away, now... (Starts to move towards the bin)

Mum: Stop! Oh... Jack, it's such a waste... Now, if you just give them here, then everything will be fine..

Jack: Mum, no!

Mum: Oh shut up, and give the damn things to me!

(Jack hands over pack)

Mum: Now be good children, and run along... Your father's home now. If you breathe a word of this, either of you, you'll be sorry! Now leave me!

(Jack and Theo run out of the garage leaving mum)

Mum: Finally... Finally!