“They live in Camps Bay.” He said this phrase as casually as someone might do when they say "pass the salt". But there was nothing casual about this statement, at all.

 And now I was downright floored.

Let me try to explain Camps Bay in Cape Town, although I doubt I could do it the slightest bit of justice. For starters, it’s the most expensive place to live in the whole of South Africa – perhaps even in the whole of Africa. Will Smith has a house there for heaven’s sake! And, rumour has it, so does the porn star Jenna Jameson. Not to mention that it has to be one of the most beautiful places in the world. All the houses are perched on cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. They’re the kind of homes that have their own helipads and butlers named ‘Giles’ or ‘Hamilton’; and where women have walk-in cupboards the size of small African countries. Now my parents were what I would call wealthy, but this was on a whole other level.

I eyed him up and down as he walked in front of me carrying my suitcase, which was very gentlemanly of him, I must say. Damian was definitely a curiosity. Son of possibly billionaire parents dressed in a crappy T-shirt, walking around without a bankcard, and in possession of a dirty backpack and split-ends.

How on earth was that even possible?

I followed him into a rather spectacular entrance hall, up to the reception desk where an exotic beauty greeted us.

“Welcome to the White Sands Hotel and Spa.” She flashed us a perfect smile. I was struck by how absolutely stunning and graceful Thai woman were; with delicate, petite features and the tiniest waists in the world. (I hated them!)

“Hi, I’m checking in. The reservation is under the name…” I hesitated again, “The name Edwards.” Some buttons were pressed at lightning speed and then she nodded.

“Mr and Mrs Edwards. Congratulations on your wedding.”

I jumped in to correct her, “No, no where’re not...”

But before I could finish, Damian cut me off, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

Not able to keep our hands off each other,” And then he turned to me with a goofy smile, “Isn’t that right honey-bunny-sweet-cheeks?” He was really milking it.

The woman smiled at us.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed at him.

“Ssshhh, go with it. In places like this they bring you all sorts of free stuff like champagne, especially when you’re on honeymoon.”

Now this guy could probably buy the whole province of Champagne in France and he was getting his panties in a twist over a free bottle of bubbly. Like I said, a curiosity.

“Come with me please, I’ll show you to your room,” the petite woman said, stepping out from behind the desk in an exquisite traditional Thai dress.

When we walked all the way through the hotel and out the other end into a beautiful lush garden, I realised that the Honeymoon Suite must be separate from the rest of the hotel. The evening air smelt sweet and sticky and I looked around. The moon was almost full and hung so low, it felt like I could reach out and touch it, the sea was only about 20 meters away now and it had been turned into a silver liquid under it’s glow, the sand too had been transformed into something that shimmered. It was all very magical and this should have pleased me, but it didn’t. Because a movie started playing in my head.

Roll romantic music and in three, two, one. Action…

Michael, big, beefy, beautiful and strapping strides onto the beach in his swimwear. He turns, his oiled chest glistens in the moonlight, and he smiles. He holds out his hand and I run. I run and jump into his arms, he swings me around and we go tumbling onto the soft, cool sand. His big body rolls over me. He strokes my face.

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