Kidnapped

You're Not in Trouble Until You're Caught (Revised)

Her kiss left a phantom impression in my cheek that tingled pleasantly.

"You're making the right choice," she said. "You deserve this."

Guilt slapped me like a wet glove.

"No I don't," I told her severely. "But you do."

"What could you have done to deserve this?" Her eyebrows came together thoughtfully and she took a step closer to me. Innocence and life shone in her eyes as she searched my face. I couldn't deny her the information she sought.

"Four years ago, my mom died," I told her.

"That's not your fault." She reached out to touch me comfortingly but I turned my back to her.

"Yes, it is." My throat burned. "I killed her."

"What?" Her voice barely reached me.

"They got into a fight." Like a broken faucet, the words spilled out of my mouth freely. Memories played like a movie in my head as I recounted the gory details. "Believe it or not, my dad used to be normal.

"My mom was going to take me to my grandma's house because my dad wasn't being a suitable father. He got so angry that she was leaving him that he hit her. You could see it; once he hit her, he changed. His eyes went all wide, like he was shocked that he was even capable of doing it. But then he smiled. Like he found a purpose in life. She started yelling at him about how she was never coming back to him and he hit her again. By the time I could make myself move, my dad was dragging her into the garage by her hair. I don't know how he managed it, my mom was fighting him the entire time, but he strapped her to the hood of our van.

"I was so scared and confused. I didn't know what to do! I yelled at him to stop and I tried to tackle him- but a fourteen year old boy against a full grown man? The winner was clear before it even started. He duct taped me to his workbench chair and faced me toward my mother. He was breathing hard and he looked insane.

"He said, 'You're gonna be a good boy and watch daddy work.'

"I was so scared." The burning in my throat intensified and I had to blink back tears. "He started with his fists. He hit her until she stopped screaming, then he beat her with whatever he could get his hands on. When he didn't get the reaction he wanted from her he turned to me. The car battery was still in his hand and he took some wires and..." A tremor wracked my body and I took a deep breath to calm my heart. "There's a downside to living out here; even if a mother and son are screaming as loud as they can, no one is close enough to hear them. When I couldn't scream anymore he turned back to her. He ripped off her clothes with his pocket knife. He didn't care if he cut her. I had to look away, I couldn't- I just couldn't watch him do that to her.

"Then she started screaming." My trembling voice evened out and lost all inflection. A tear rolled down my cheek. "It was worse than anything I've ever heard. It went on forever, it seemed. Then they just stopped. She was so quiet I thought she was dead. Is it bad that I hoped that was the case?

'She began to cry. My dad walked over to me and forced me to look at him. His hand was bloody and left smudges on my face.' I touched my cheek, feeling the invisible brand left from my mother's blood.

"He said, 'Come help daddy.' The duct tape should've stung when he ripped it off of me, but I felt numb. He wanted me to-" I took a deep breath. "When I didn't move, he forced me to look at her and threatened to do the same to me. Blood was everywhere. But she wasn't dead. I was ashamed to see her like that. I wanted to cover her up, but I couldn't move." My already racing heart beat frantically in my chest as the memories cleared and the phantom sounds crescendoed in my head. Smells became sharper as the finale of the nightmare played through my head. "He told my mom that I was going to follow in his footsteps whether she liked it or not. Then he handed me a screwdriver and told me to finish her off."