My life... (Completed)

Chapter 19

It was the school holidays now. Before the school holidays had started, Carrie had invited Hana to go out with her and Sasha. Wow, she thought of me as one of her friends? Hana thought. Hana couldn't believe it. She had made a new friend. Like finally. 

But there was another problem. She didn't want to go out with them. She had never went out with any of her friends before. Hana had always found an excuse to not go out and wished that hopefully they'll forget about it. And this time it was the same. Hana didn't know why she didn't want to go out with her friends. Was she afraid to go out alone? Was that it? Maybe that was it. Because Hana couldn't think of any other reason for it...

In the end, Hana came up with a random excuse: she wasn't free because she had a dental appointment that day. It was lame but she just didn't want to go...

***

Today was one of those days where the small arguements turned into big ones. It was the time where Hana would never hear peace in her house for at least a couple of days. It had started with a small arguement between her parents at first. But it soon turned into a full blown arguement with her mum shouting so loud that Hana was sure all her neighbors could hear the arguement. The arguement was now at its height, with her mum digging up the past. 

"...Why did you gamble last time?! If you didn't, we would be living a better life now!" Her mum shouted. 

Her dad was about to reply when her mum continued, "Don't even say anything! It's all because of you! If you didn't gamble and played with stocks, we wouldn't be looked down on by my mother! And why did you have to go visit her?! Why? If you didn't, we wouldn't hear my mother muttering at how useless you are!"

Her mum went on repeating all this over and over again while her dad kept quiet, or rather he was forced to kept quiet. After listening to all that, Hana kind of felt guilty. She didn't know that her parents had a bad relationship with their own parents. She just went ahead to play with her aunt and uncle when she used to visit them last time when she was young. They were so nice to her though, she would have never suspected any bad feelings between them and her parents and she didn't have her grandma muttering anything. Maybe, maybe, she shouldn't have gotten close to them? Hana wondered. Was that why her mum was biased towards her brother? Her brother had always listened out her mum and stayed with her while she, Hana, went off to play with her aunt. Maybe she should have listened to her mum instead and stayed with her? But this wasn't all her fault, right? Hana didn't know anything at that time. Her mum should have said something to her. Hana shook her head. No, it was HER own fault. It was HER who didn't listened to her mum. IT. WAS. ALL. HER. FREAKING. FAULT that her mum was biased against her. This was all her fault. All her fault...

Hana shut her ears, not wanting to hear anymore of this. She really didn't want hear any more of it. The more she heard, the more she blamed herself.

Later at dinner. It was all silent with no one talking, except for her mum who was still repeating the same things over and over again. The only time she spoke was to ask her brother whether he was going to school for badminton training tomorrow. ( He's in the badminton club, by the way. So athletic, unlike her) She was so nice when she talked to him, asking him gently. But when it came to Hana, she just asked her in a rough manner whether she needed to go back to school this week since it was the holidays. Seriously! What the heck is this?! Why was she treated differently? Why? She really didn't belong here at all, Hana thought. 

After dinner, she stormed to her bedroom and shut herself in. She couldn't help but notice the difference in the way she was treated compared to her brother. It was as if she was some unwanted child in this family. Maybe she shouldn't be here after all and just let the three of them live as a perfect little happy family. Or maybe she should just stay and break that all up? What should she do?

Bedtime. Her mum was once again grumbling about the past. Hana had just managed to calm herself down but her mum was making her feel guilty all over again. What's wrong with her mum?! Why does she keep doing this? It really made her feel as if everything was her freaking fault. Hana covered herself with her pillow and cried herself to sleep that night...

*** 

My reads are stuck :( I feel kind of sad about it even though I keep telling myself it don't really matter... I hope you liked this chapter and sorry about it being kind of short. Oh, and I'm planning to publish my new book soon. I'll be leaving you all a short little excerpt after I finish this book :) And I'm going to do a crazy thing: I'm thinking of not promoting my new book and see how it goes. Is this a good idea? Idk. Maybe I'll end up sad if I don't get any reads... I just don't know.

Next update will be on 19 July! Remember to vote if you like this chapter! :)