Neon's Art Book 2.0!!

'Sigh'

I really vent to you guys too much don't I?

Well I'm sorry I do.
I'm sorry I waste your time with you having to be sorry for me...

But I just feel like every friend I have, leaves me after we only talk once.

Like I'll see something of there's, and then complement them, and we'll talk for a little while, then I'll try to talk to them the next day, or the day after that, and nothing..

I mean I know people have lives outside of Wattpad and the Internet, but my outside life is just REALLY unenjoyable, and I enjoy internet life better....

But every friend I make, leaves me for someone else...

And it's every time too.....

And it seems the only friend that's really stayed with me, and put up with all my uselessness and has listened to all my vents, is Official-Duo-AU
And I thank you so much for being there, countless times were I really wanted to kill my self, countless times I actually had my knife, or pistol at the end at my bed, just staring at it, then you come to the rescue...

It's just that so many people thy I LOVED, just got tired of me and left...

Like my mom...
But that's not my point..

I have a few irl freinds, and they haven't left me yet...
But I haven't talked to them AT ALL due to its summer, and it's making me even more depressed.. Because they always would give me REAL hugs, and it made me feel like I was loved... Even if it was only a little...And I would never cut the night they gave me those talks or hugs...

And NutmegThePunNinja (irl friend) said that all these cents were just calls for help, that I didn't realize I was calling for help, and to just ask for it...

I'm just so sorry.....

And here's my Fuckin ugly face...
I curled my hair the other day, and my grandmother took a picture

'Sigh'
I'm sorry for venting again..

I guess I'm just so jealous of ever couple who was made for the other, and love each other... I guess I just want to be loved for the first time in a long time... And I know that I should let my problems out..

I'm sorry you all have to listen to my problems, when you probably have worse....

I mean the bullies are getting worse..

And my longing for someone to call my own and love and just say out of the blue "I love you so much.."
But I know I can't do that...
Because everyone I love just turns around and breaks my already scared heart to shreds....

Again I'm sorry you have to sit through my problems of me just wanting some one to love...
God no I'm sounding cheesey...

I'll just leave...