prologue

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Love is unjustified need for creatures , and  love never fades . Either killed  , or it never was there . no one is able to tell if it's another illusion .

This certain man lost his love , lost his other part , it was stolen from him even before he could get enough of it . They were an ideal couple , one of those in the old movies . The typical love story , except they never grow sick of this relationship , they saw each other as newlyweds ; even though years had passed that .

Wherever the man went he had the look of a man in love , his brown eyes screamed for her whenever they were apart . He still has that look , even when she departed him .

He looked down at his new born , for a split second he wondered what would have happened if this kid was never born ? They never needed financial sport , they help build each other . adoption was going to be easier , and she could live to see their kid play in mud , get taller , learn how to walk , and call them mama and papa !
He somehow hated the child was angry , " stop crying already." just then The kid his grabbed his thumb , and went silent no more crying .
The man felt ashamed how can he hate this baby it was the fruit of their love , he just couldn't find it in him to hate him .

" I'm  sorry ." the man said to the baby - how could he even consider leaving him like  that -

The man tried to hold his new baby carefully , but was scared to death he is going to drop it , he wanted to hold the baby tightly ; like he held his mother whenever she was sad , but he was scared he might crush him - he was small and delicate -  the man apologized again taking the child to his new bed .

The man didn't sleep that night he watched the baby sleep his small chest rising and falling . The man knew he had become the mother and the father of this child , " I will do everything I can to make you happy . " his big hand approached the tiny one , engaging his pinky with the smaller one he smiled " it's a promise ." the man whispered like a little child .

The man looked up as if he was waiting for someone's approval , he knew she was watching , he knew she always would , that was their promise to always watch for each other .

He looked back at the baby , he wondered what to name him .  " Christian Jr ? What do u think , do you like it ? " the baby stared at his father .

" how about Joseph ? "

"Tyler , just like your mom ? " the man looked at the baby , he could swear for a second his baby had smiled .

" Tyler it is !" The man felt pride calling the tiny child , he was his own , and was going to grow up to take after his father's steps . How could I have ever hated him even for a second —thought the man , angry at himself — He looked back at the baby in the bed he was cradling , Tyler was closing his tiny eyes .

Finally falling asleep , Christian wanted to leave the room and start planing his kids future , but he couldn't —he was terrified of many things surrounding his fragile kid — Christan glared at the room that's made to insure babies safety .

" am I going crazy ? "

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