Unbecoming Humans

Chapter 15

"Anyway, my question is, why do you hate it here so much?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I had promised her that we would have this talk, that I would tell her everything, but I was hoping to put it off as long as possible. I realized, however, that waiting would not make the tale any easier to tell. I swallowed hard as I tried to determine where to begin.

"I didn't always hate it here." Nima made herself comfortable, settling in as I began my tale. "Like I told you before, I was excited about becoming a queen and a superhero when my parents first brought me here. For a time, I was just as happy as anyone else here. Despite the misery of treatment, I reveled in my superior abilities. I enjoyed them even more once I had others to test myself against. Believe it or not, when Justine first joined our ranks she and I were good friends. She, Kyle, Blake and I spent hours competing in sports, as well as more mental activities like chess. Over the years, more residents joined us. We all got along well and we bonded like siblings."

"Then one day, when I was 14 years old, a new girl joined us. Her name was Róisín, and she came from Ireland. All the residents who had joined us between her and Kyle had begun treatment in the womb, but Róisín was born naturally, like the first four of us had been. Blake and I had been selected for the program based on our genetic maps. Justine, Kyle, and Róisín came from the pool of kids who are used as guinea pigs for the early stages of treatment testing. They were the ones who survived." I looked toward the door that led to the lab where they tested the children unfortunate enough to wind up here.

"They kill children here?!" Nima exclaimed. I nodded and pointed to their lab.

"That's the lab where they test on them. Most of them are orphans," I told her.

"I'm an orphan! That doesn't make it okay to treat them like lab rats! It's appalling! We have to help them!" she was yelling as much as her tired body would allow her.

"I've tried," I said, shaking my head somberly. "But this place is locked down more tightly than they let on. By the time they're here, it's usually too late anyway. They either die, or they don't, like Róisín," I said, leading the conversation back to my story, while Nima continued shaking her head and looking disgusted.

"If Róisín survived, then where is she now?" Nima asked. "I haven't met her." I closed my eyes, bit my lower lip, and shook my head.

"It's my fault," I continued with my eyes still closed. "I can still see her face. She was a perfect Irish girl. She had the accent, the auburn hair, and the emerald green eyes. I fell for her, hard and fast. Everyone dismissed it at first, saying I was only 14, I wasn't old enough to know love, it was just a silly little-girl crush. But they weren't me. They didn't know what I was feeling. To make matters worse, she loved me back. We lived in bliss for a while, sneaking into one another's rooms whenever we could, telling each other stories, playing together in the yard, kissing under the big tree behind the compound..." my voice trailed off.

We sat there in silence for a few moments, as I relived the memories of when things were good, when I still hoped, and believed, and found joy in life. Nima didn't press me to continue, or try to break the silence. She just sat there, waiting patiently for me to recover myself. Finally, I snapped out of my trance and continued.

"But, I ruined it. I was young and naive. I thought that if I told my parents that I was in love with Róisín and that I didn't want to be matched with Blake, they would love me enough to understand. I asked to speak with them privately one day, and I told them exactly that. Instead of telling me that it was okay if I loved Róisín instead of Blake, they tried to reason with me. They told me Róisín and I would never be able to have children, that only a king and queen could rule the new humanity, that I was just living in a little-girl's fantasy world, and on, and on. When they realized that I wouldn't see reason, my mother got angry. She screamed at me, saying that I would spend the rest of my life with Blake, whether I wanted to or not, that I was the future and I had a duty to humanity before myself. She had me forcibly locked in my room. It took a handful of burly staff members to wrestle with me and subdue me. Most of it was a blur. I was angry, and crying, and trying to escape. The only thing I remember clearly is Róisín's face as they dragged me to my room. She looked confused and afraid. She tried to call out to me, but the staff stuffed my mouth with fabric so that I couldn't respond."

"That was the last time I saw her. They kept me locked in my room for two weeks. Someone came by to drop off my meals three times a day. Other than that, I was left alone with my thoughts. Maybe they believed I would forget about Róisín if they kept me from her. It didn't work. When they finally let me out, I searched for her desperately, only to find that she was gone. I never knew what happened to her, but no one is allowed to leave once they've come here. She was dead." I was silent again. After a few minutes, Nima placed her hand on my arm in a consoling gesture.

"I'm so sorry," she said earnestly. "I can understand why that would make you bitter." I didn't respond. I laid back, pinning myself between Nima and the arm of the bed, blinking angry tears from my eyes. Nima rolled over on her side - her face just inches from mine - scrutinizing my features.

"So, that's why you were avoiding me?" she asked. I simply nodded. "Because you like me, and you don't want them to kill me?" she asked more tentatively. I turned on my side and propped myself on my elbow to look into her eyes, weighing her words and my potential responses. Finally, I settled on a few more short nods of my head. I wasn't sure what to say. Nima chewed her lip in thought for a few more silent moments.

"Well, that's good," she finally broke the silence, but paused before continuing, "because I really like you, too." Her tan, sunken cheeks flushed as she said it. It was adorable, and I smiled.

"Really? Why?" I asked a little incredulously. The news excited me, but I had been almost unkind to her before her coma, and the rest of the time, I had been broody and sullen.

"Are you kidding?!" she exclaimed. "Did you miss the part about you being completely perfect? You're caring, even if you won't let anybody see it. Not to mention, you're stunning," she said looking me up and down. "The first time I saw you, I thought my jaw was going to fall onto my dinner plate," she giggled. It was a musical and contagious sound. I found myself giggling, too.

"But what about my mother?" I asked, my expression turning serious. Nima shrugged.

"We'll fly under the radar," she said casually, like the threat of my mother's wrath was no big deal. "Just promise me one thing?" Now it was Nima's turn to look serious.

"What?" I asked. I didn't want to commit to anything I couldn't uphold.

"No more pushing me away, ever."

"Deal," I said, shaking her hand emphatically. "Um, I hate to drone on and on about myself and run, but the lab staff will probably be back soon. I'm supposed to be locked in my room melodramatically, so I should go."

"Okay." She nodded in agreement. "Hey," she said, catching my hand as I dismounted from the bed. Her hand was cold and scrawny from disuse, but her skin was so soft. "Thank you, Aria, for this and...everything," she finished earnestly.

"Any time," I told her, smiling warmly. "I'll be back when I can." I hurried out of the lab, before the butterflies in my stomach led me to do something foolish.