Danger Days: The True Lives of The Feminine Killjoys

Last Crash

“I’m like a magnet for them. My dreams call them to me and they attack. It’s something I have learnt to control but sometimes I just can’t. It’s normally when I remember BatteryCity and One in our old home. My mum shows up a lot. And that’s when they turn up. And I can’t stop it. And all I want to do is protect One and I can’t even do that!” I look down to prevent Horror from seeing my weakness. I had to protect One. It was all I could do. So I shook my head, dispelling the depressing thoughts and looked back up.

“Where you just crying Black?” Horror bent down to my level as I bitterly laughed.

“I don’t cry, Angel. I haven’t in years and I don’t intend to start now on a low level job. The dracolloids won’t break me. Ever.” I assure her.

“Good, you’re sane at least.” She smiled gently. “I feel the same about Electric you know that. But we fight through all the time. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, I’m here.” She smiled over at me, more like a grin.

“So I am.” Dreamer sat up. “Sorry I don’t mean to intrude but I couldn’t help but over hear.” As she spoke about overhearing, my mind was drawn back to a time when I was arguing with Party Poison.

A killjoy named Last Crash had been dating Jet Star for a while now and we as a group knew they weren’t going to break up anytime soon. She, despite being insecure about her talents, was a really sweet girl who countered Jet Stars shortcomings and he countered hers. She had black hair that despite being hacked at with scissors for its regular cut somehow managed to sit straight with time and heat. We had gotten close, as the girls in the sidelines of the Fabulous Killjoys. So close that when I had wanted to put my orange streaks into my hair she joined in and added dark blue and purple to her own. Her tattoos balanced out her arms, with a drooping rose on her upper right arm and a landed butterfly on her left wrist to symbolise her parents dying and how she was stabilised by the killjoys afterwards. They were mainly hidden by her long sleeved t-shirt but the rips up and down the arms allowed for a small viewing. Either way, she spent a lot of time around the Fabulous Killjoys without actually being a member and it was comforting to have another girl around sometimes. One night after patrol, I came back into my bedroom that I shared with Fun Ghoul, who had quickly become my best friend within the group, and found Party Poison waiting for one of us.

“Oh hi, Party. Are you waiting for Ghoul?” I asked naively as I placed my gun on the desk we shared.

“No I wanted to speak to you. It’s actually about Ghoul though.” He started and I nodded quickly sitting down on my bed.

“Ok shoot.” I said back looking over at him.

“Do you love him?” he asked quickly without hesitation or warning. My jaw dropped.

“Love him?” I spluttered. “Party he’s my best friend! Not a lover! Isn’t as you always said, in the middle of gun fight, there’s no time for love?”

“Answer me! Give me a straight answer. Yes or no?” He pushed his words as he stood up.

“I love him as purely a friend would. Why are you asking Party? Are you jealous someone else is managing to keep his attention for longer than you? That there might be someone who he wants to be friends with that isn’t you, Kobra or Jet? Are you that selfish?” I spat the words back at him. He had crossed a line when he pressured me into a situation I wasn’t entirely sure of myself. To tell the truth, part of me had loved Ghoul as more than a friend but there was no chance with me and I knew that. So the tiny crush I had had on him faded away and became more like the love a sister has for her older brother.

“I would never be that selfish! He is free to act how he wants to act. Just not around you! I feel as if you blitz in here, damaged, fragile yet strong enough to last the journey, brave enough to even start the journey, dedicated to your family yet angry enough to be willing to kill the dracs and you steal every piece of normality I ever experienced in this goddamn base! I just want my friends to stay my friends.” He went quiet.

“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. If they have stuck with you the two years you have been a killjoy then I doubt they would just up and leave you when someone new comes along. Party, your friends care about you. That much is obvious to anyone who spends five minutes with you all. Don’t worry about it.” I comforted him, surprised that my anger had leaked away so rapidly.

“Yet you seem to have made friends with them. Not with me. Why? Do I do something wrong? Something that disturbs you?” he asked. That is when I realised he was curious about how I had sunk so easily into the group yet not with him.

“I see too much of myself in you. Protective of a younger sibling, wants a tightly knit group of friends, needs a routine or something similar, wants to do best but not sure how, doesn’t know how to control all your feelings so you hide them, stuff like that. Don’t take offence when I say this, but I don’t want to be you. I want to be my own person and I’m scared that you will influence it.” He nodded understanding my thoughts.

“Crash what are you doing outside my room?” we suddenly heard Ghouls voice out in the corridor. “Are you here for Black?”

“Shhh!” was Crash’s response then I heard her fleeting footsteps as she tore down the corridor away from us. It was then it clicked that she had been listening to something private. I could almost picture Ghoul shrugging then he came in.

“Oh hey Party! Why are you here?” he grinned over at us, probably suspecting the worst.

“I came to deliver a message from Jet. He wants to go over some of the guitar licks with you.” Party explained.

“Oh cool. You want to come to guys? We never mind an audience.” He grinned at both of us.

“Sounds good to me.” I smiled and looked over at Party. “Coming too?”

“Yeah ok.” He slightly smiled then followed us out. I never knew how much Last Crash has heard but she avoided me for most of the time I had left with the Fabulous Killjoys. I felt like I had lost a friend that day, and I never knew why.