First Timer

Chapter 15: I screwed up

Amelia's P.O.V

The sunlight beam through my window in the morning. I opened my eyes and saw Nathan looking at me. "Don't worry, I just woke up so didn't watch you sleep all night." I laughed and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. "I would've been fine if you watched me all night. I would do the same." He looked at me crazy. "You're such a freak." I sat up and opened my mouth pretending to be offended. "So mean." he smiled and sat up also, holding my hand. "I wanna be together." He told me looking at me in my eyes. "I do too." I wanted to tell him I loved him, but it just felt too risky. I played it safe until the perfect time came along. Smiled widely and kissed me. I had a feeling this could work.

Me and Nathan spent the last three weeks going on dates, kissing, and just being a couple. The last day of school was going perfectly until the end of the day. "So, you guys are a couple now." Melanie said standing in front of us. "Yep." Nathan held my hand. "Well I guess you have someone to talk to about your daddy issues." Nathan looked at me confused. "Oh shit, sorry that was supposed to be a secret! My bad. I guess when you keep the drinks rokin, the secrets come a'knokin." Shit. I forgot that I told her about Nathan's dad when we went on the trip. "You told her?" The words couldn't come out. "I trusted you." He walked to his car. "Nathan wait!" I ran after him.

"Why the fuck did you tell her?!" Nathan raised his voice. "I didn't mean to! I was drunk and frustrated. It just came out." He laughed. "That's the excuse you're using?!" His voice was cracking. I could tell he was trying to keep in his tears. "Nathan I'm sorry!" He shook his head. "Bull shit." He got in his car and drove off, leaving me there by myself. I started crying, hysterically. I finally had him and I didn't even know if he wanted to see my face ever again.

I didn't know what to do. I left him 6 voicemails and a dozen unanswered text messages. I just sat on my bed with the face buried in my thighs. I couldn't stop crying. "Sweetie." My mom came in my room. "He hates me." She rubbed my back. "No he doesn't. He's just really angry right now. Give him some time and he'll come around again." I shook my head. "He trusted me. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone and I broke that promise. He's never going to speak to me again." She got closer. "If he doesn't talk to you again, which I doubt, then you'll learn to move on." I put my head up. "No I won't." She looked at me confused. "Why?" "Because I love him." I started crying even more and she grabbed me in a hug.

"Smile baby girl!" I smiled for the camera. I had a diploma in my hand and a fake smile on my face. "Perfect!" My mom said, looking down at the photo. I tried to be happy for graduation, but I just couldn't be happy knowing Nathan absolutely hated me. "Hey, you okay?" Donna asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" She looked over at Nathan and his family. "I'm over it." She raised a eyebrow. "Then why were you looking at him through the whole graduation?" I shook my head. "I wasn't looking at him. There just happened to be a really cute guy sitting by him." I looked over at him. He was with his mom and Erica. He glanced over my way. His eyes weren't warm and friendly like they always were. They were cold and filled with hate. I looked away, trying not to cry. Donna looked at me concerned. I cleared my throat. "Like I told you, I'm fine."

"This party is lame." Donna said, holding a red solo cup. "We can leave." I wanted to leave so bad. Just go home and cry in my bed. "No! You are never going to see these people again, so we have to make it memorable." I rolled my eyes. Me and Donna went to a graduation for this guy in my class that lived on the beach. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I walked outside instead of the bathroom because I didn't need Donna following me.

"What are you doing out here alone?" I turned to see Felix. "Just thinking." He sat by me. "About Nathan?" I nodded. "You remember at prom when I told you that you'd be sorry you didn't tell him you loved him? This is a prime example on feeling sorry." I looked at him. "What do I do then?" He smiled. "What you think is right." A light bulb turned on in my brain. "I know what to do."

"You sure about this?" Donna asked me. "No, but I'm willing to try." I took her cup and downed it. "Good luck." Felix put his thumbs up for me. There was a stage with a live band. They were on break so I stole the stage. I cleared my throat. "Can I have everyone's attention?" Once I said that everyone looked at me. Great plan Mia. "I'm going to tell you about a guy. A guy I've been dating for the last three weeks. And if that guy is in the audience, just know that I fucked up. Really bad. All because I was mad at you for not caring that I lost my virginity and drunkenly told your secret to a blonde bitch. You trusted me, not only because I was your friend, but because you knew I wouldn't tell a soul. And I broke that trust. I can't get you out my head. I can't forget the betrayal I put on you. I couldn't even enjoy my own graduation for gods sake because I kept thinking about you the whole time. Wondering if you hated m. Wondering if you would ever talk to me again. But I deserve it. I deserve the hate and and the ice cold glares because I broke our promise. And I'm sorry." Everyone started clapping when I was done, I even saw some people wipe away tears. "How was it?" Donna smiled. "It was beautiful." I looked around to try to find Nathan. "I think he's on the beach." Felix pointed to where the beach was. "Thank you."

I walked the beach trying to find him. And just when I was about to give up, I saw him. "Hey." He looked at me, but didn't say anything. "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now. In fact,I know you really want me to fuck off or go to hell. Or both. But I meant everything I said Nathan. I'm not asking you to talk to me ever again. I'm just asking for forgiveness." My voice started cracking. Here goes nothing. "Because I don't know what I'd do knowing the man I love hates me." He looked at me shocked. "I love you Nathan. For a while. But like Malcolm said, I'm just too much of a pussy to say how I feel. Or do the things I want to do." I wiped a tear away. "But yeah. It was time you knew." I turned to leave when I felt Nathan turn me. Our noises touching, and our eyes locked on each other. "I love you too. And I never stopped loving you." He titled his head and kissed me.

I was so relieved and shocked. I thought telling him I loved him would turn into a terrible disaster. But it turnt into a happily ever after. I thought doing things I always wanted to do would get me in trouble. But it ended up being an amazing adventure. And I thought going to school would be the death of me. But it was the key to me learning new things, exploring new things, and me being able to experience life for the first time.