First Timer

Chapter 12: Lost and found

"I'm all packed." I told my mom while zipping up my bag. The  seniors were going on a camping trip to some waterfall. "I'm gonna miss you!" She walked to me and gave a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you too." I got my bag and walked down the stairs to the car. "Ready kiddo?" My dad said, starting the car. "Yep."

The bus ride was agony. I sat with a girl named Matilda that smelled like bleach and her hair smelled like ham. My phone had no service to go on spotify so I sat in silence. And the worst part was Nathan and Felix were in perfect view. They were laughing and just having fun. Nathan was talking to someone in the next seat beside when he and I made eye contact. He smiled at me so I smiled back. I guess that was a perk. "Oh my God did you see that?" Matilda asked me. "What?" "Nathan Baker smiled at me!" I just went with it. "Wow, he must really want you." her eyes sparkled. Poor girl. "I've always had a crush on him. I think I might love him." I sighed. "I know how you feel."

The camp site was beautiful. The trees and the animals were vibrant. "Alright guys this way." A teacher said pointing to a huge cabin. on the way walking there I felt a arm go over me. "Isn't this place nice?" Nathan asked looking around. "Yeah." But while he was looking at the forest, I looked at him.

"Alright let's pair up." The teachers looked at clip boards with our names on it. They finally got to the "J's". "Amelia Jacobs and Melanie Jay." How great. "Hey roomate." He bumped me in the side,which made me even more pissed.

We got up to the room and I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. "You okay?" At this time I felt like I was at a breaking point. I wanted to tell her everything, even though she was one of the main reasons I felt like crap. I just needed to talk to someone, but I didn't know who. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired." She sat on her bed. "Well take a nap because you need to be awake for the party." I looked at her confused. "Party? What party?" She crossed her legs. "We're going down to the lake to drink and shit like that." "Do I have to go?" She looked at me like I was stupid. "Yes, you do. And you never know, you could get laid tonight." I laughed. "I highly doubt that." She shrugged and got up to go to the bathroom. "Go on, take your nap. I'll wake you when it's time for the party." I took her word for it and went to sleep.

At around 8, me and Melanie went down to the lake. She got me a red solo cup. "Drink. It'll make you feel better." I took a sip, which felt like sipping hell. "What is this?" She giggled. "Hennessy silly." I scrunched up my face and poured the rest out on the grass. I looked around to see who was at the party. I saw Nathan talking to some guy. He spotted me looking and walked. "I didn't think you would come." I pointed at Melanie. "She made me." He laughed. He sounded so sexy and cute at the same time. "Hey babe." Felix came over and kissed me. Nathan took a sip of his drink while looking away. "Having fun?" Why were  everyone asking questions? Didn't help that I was ready to cut a bitch and have a melt down in the process. "Yeah I'm great!" Nathan looked at me like he knew I wasn't okay. "Can I steal you for a second?" I looked at Nathan to see if he would actually say no and would want to see wants wrong. But he didn't. "Yeah it's cool." Felix held my hand lead me back to the cabin.

He lead me to his room and he laid me on the bed. He started kissing my neck while on top of me. "Wait." I stopped him. "You don't want to do it? Its fine if you don't." I really didn't want to, especially with Felix. But I thought it would take my mind off of things. "Do you have a condom?" He smiled and kissed me while reaching in his bag to get a condom. I took my pants off and my underwear and he did the same. Once we had them off he laid me back down. It hurt a lot, and it just made me think even more.

When we were done he went to the bathroom to clean up. I sat there with my knees up against me. He came to the bed and I put back on my pants. "I'm gonna go back to the party. Are you coming?" He shook his head. "I'm gonna stay." I nodded my head and kissed him before I left.

I walked straight to Nathan, not even caring about the pain that I was in. "Can we talk?" His face turned to seriousness and curiosity. "Yeah of course."

We sat on the grass while looking at the lake. It was still enough that the moon was reflecting off of it. "So, what did you need to talk about?" I sighed, hesitant to tell him. "I lost it, with Felix." He looked like he was in shock. "Really?" I slowly nodded my head. "Did you like it?" I was taken back. I needed him to care right now, to know that I wanted him to be my first. "Besides the pain, yeah." He looked down. "Do you love him?" I looked at him shocked. I couldn't believe he couldn't notice that I loved him. I didn't want to lie, but I also didn't want to tell him the truth. "I don't know." It was silent for a moment. "Well I'm happy for you. Since you got it out the way already." I softly nodded. I got up, I couldn't handle this conversation anymore. "Are you coming?" He shook his head. "I'm gonna stay."

I wanted to cry. I needed to cry. But I couldn't in front of everyone. I went up to Melanie. "Get me drunk."

I was hammered. I stumbled my way up to the cabin. I laid on the bed and stretched out. "Why did you need me to get you drunk?" Melanie asked taking a seat on her bed. "Because being a friend is fucking hard. Especially when your friend doesn't see what's wrong." I sat up. "Are you talking about Nathan?" I slowly nodded my head. "Like just because your dad walked out on you doesn't mean you have the right to act like a ignorant dick." She looked at me confused. "I thought his parents got a divorce?" I shook my head. "He just wants people to think that." She squinted at me. "Why hasn't he told me?" I started giggling. "He says that YOU guys aren't dating." She looked at me hurt. "I'm gonna sleep." I kicked off my shoes laid down. I was instantly knocked out.