The Scandal

18. Sixteen

My Mom had told me to talk to Rome. I thought it was bullshit, and stupid, and that there was no way it made a difference. She heard my voice enough as I spoke to other people, and it wouldn't change anything if I talked directly to her or not.

But right then, I did have a couple things to say.

"You ruined everything," I began, with a hand on my belly so I was perfectly direct. "I know you didn't mean to, and it's not like I'll hold it against you, but I'm just saying. If it weren't for you I'd be happy right now. I'd be having a party tonight. I'd take a picture with Jaden. I'd look adorable. But I can't because of you.

"You know, though, I think I do love you. In some kinda way. But I just can't be your mother, do you get that? I hope so. I don't want you to think I hate you. I don't. And your Dad definitely doesn't either. I think he'll be good to you. And maybe one day, when I'm settled, and older and mature and all, we can have a really nice relationship. Like, oh, we could go to lunch every Tuesday, 'cause Tuesdays are dull and it'd make them better, and I'll bring you presents every time.

"It's just an idea. I don't know anything yet. I just thought that sounded fun. Just saying, I'm not gonna ignore you or anything. We just won't be like regular Moms and daughters, but that's okay, because you'll get what you need and I'll get what I need and that's what matters."

I knew she couldn't understand my words or anything, but the way she kicked me, more gentle than normal, just quick and light, it seemed like she was telling me it was okay.

I ended up being right about that day. It consisted of nothing important. Just more waiting for the baby. Just more annoyance and discomfort, though my whole family was particularly nice to me and offered to do anything to make me happy. But nothing really made me happy.

The only real thing I remember happening all day was at 8:46 AM, when I got back to my room after getting up to pee, and I checked my phone.

Two texts came so close together.

I'd already gotten a couple texts from people, and calls from relatives, but really I was waiting on those particular two. The confusing two. And because everything always had to be hectic, they came one minute apart from each other.

The name Leo appeared on my phone just above the name Luke.

I smiled to myself before opening Luke's first—he was first by a minute, so I only thought it was fair.

[Luke] : Birthday Girl! Can't believe you're really sixteen now. I miss you, and I'm hoping I'll see you sometime soon, and maybe Rome too :) I know this year's been shitty, but I also know you'll be back where you wanna be so soon. You have all that it takes to make it there. I love you Liv. Have a great day

I held my phone closer to me and smiled down at it. It made things just a little lighter. He said what I needed to hear, what I'd been hoping was true, and knowing he thought so gave me a sense of relief, of peace.

Plus, knowing he thought of me enough to say all of it had my cheeks red.

Then there was Leo.

[Leo] : Happy birthday :) I'm sorry we haven't been speaking like normal. I really miss talking to you. What happened last time we saw each other and what you said and what I said... we can forget that. I'm sorry it was weird. I shouldn't have told you that anyway. I know how hard everything's been for you but it'll be better and maybe when you see her, maybe things will change. Even if they don't I'm still here for you and for her and for us. We're all gonna be fine. Happy sixteenth Olive. I hope today's not as much of a mess as this year's been

I sighed. I hoped it wasn't either.

I missed them both too, missed being a normal person with them. Sitting on set with Leo, in our classroom, on the floor, playing different songs for each other, seeing him roll his eyes when I said I didn't like one. Laying out by Luke's pool, watching him jump in the water, splashing me in the process, getting mad at him after that, but I was never really that mad.

It was so gone. I wondered what the new normal would be, maybe a year down the road.

Luke and I would still talk, I knew. We'd stay friends, just like Gracie and me, and I bet I wouldn't ever kiss him again. I'd think about it, but it wouldn't happen.

Leo, I don't know. Maybe we would be. Maybe not. We'd always mean something to each other, but I don't know how much or how little we'd end up talking. It depended on how the Rome situation turned out, I guess. I could picture myself fucking up with him from time to time again. Our last kiss wouldn't be our last one, I just had a feeling.

But even if we weren't a perfect match, we went together just enough to create someone—someone half me and half him, and that was concrete. She'd be out there reminding us and everyone that we were something, sometime.

She did always at least do that.

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A/N: NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST CHAPTER im screamin