They're Made of Glass | SEVENTEEN

18 | second thoughts

"Wonwoo, I...you know, I really want to stay." I said. The words came rushing out of my mouth and for the second time, Wonwoo's seeing me without any sort of mask on. It's just me now and I need his help more then ever. "I just feel like I finally belong somewhere, you know? Like I had finally found a home. And I know you guys think Hyemi is horrible, and don't get me wrong she totally is, but you just don't understand. She's a horrible sister and just...horrible in general, but having Hyemi beats being all on your own by a long shot." I still remember my old house - it's an image that's been cut sharp and hard. Heaps of dirty clothes were clumped together with crushed bear cans and empty bottles of alcohol in the corners of our dingy apartment. The whole place reeked of an alcoholic. It stained the clothes, the wallpaper, the carpet, it was everywhere. No matter how hard I cleaned, how hard I tried getting rid of the stain of alcohol, dad always came around to screw things up again.

"You guys...you guys have everything. You have a nice house, nice friends, anything you've ever wanted, and two perfectly normal parents who love you. Who cares if they hate each other's guts? What matters is that they love you." I said. "My mom died and my dad was an abusive alcoholic. He was almost never home - thank god - but when he was...he was a monster." I shuddered at the memories.

"Do you know what it feels like to live in terror? To fear for your life every single day because you don't know what might set off your own father?" I asked. "I hated every second I had to spend in that house - if you can even call it a house. Because he could never hold a job for more than a couple months at a time, the building had to cut off our water sometimes. But did he care? Did he ever think about his fourteen-year-old daughter he left at home all by herself? He was too busy getting drunk to even come to my graduation. I hated living like that. I hated it. I hated it so much, I hated my dad so much, I just wished my dad would die. I wished for it every single time he hit me, every time I had to look in the stupid mirror and see this stupid scar, and you know what? It came true. My dad died because I wished on a fucking star that he would."

I wiped my eyes again, making sure there were no more tears. "You can't blame me for wanting to believe Inha. She was nice. She was–"

"She's a liar, she's manipulative, and she was playing you this entire time, Eunji. Why can't you see that?" Wonwoo whispered quietly. He reached across the table for my hand. I moved out of his reach, shaking my head and ignoring the look of concern on his face.

"Why can't you see that I already know this? Wonwoo, I'm not stupid. I've known since Christmas that she's been manipulating me. But all I've ever wanted was a family, okay? And Inha gave me one. You can't blame me for having second thoughts. If you knew what–"

"Bullshit!" He growled, banging his fist on the table. Several heads darted towards our direction but he keeps his eyes trained on me. In them is a fire I've never seen before. He's fuming. "Your dad's death wasn't your fault. And neither was the breakup of your family. You keep saying that you want a family and that you stayed with Inha because she cared about you but have you ever once thought about what they might think?" He asked. "You have a whole family in Japan and they care about you. They write letters to you every month begging you to explain why you don't want to see them and why you won't even speak to them."

"But I've never even read one of their letters. Why would they think that I..." It all clicked together.

Wonwoo nods, confirming my suspicions. "Yeah, Inha's been keeping you from real family because she's selfish and she's cruel and she doesn't give a fuck about you. Trust me, Eunji, I know how these people think. She's just waiting until you can get that deal with Hansol's family and then you'll be shipped off to go live with your family in Japan whether you want to or not."