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Note: I started this when I was 13, I'm now 17. The first few chapters have been rewritten as of May 28, 2020. I'm very sorry that I took out so much of the memey shitposting, but as this has been written over several years, the overall tone of this piece has shifted. I hope you still enjoy,-Sarah

I walk into the building, the green Spotify logo glaring above him.

"It's my time to shine," I say quietly to myself. I can't believe this day is finally here. 
"Welcome to Spotify Headquarters, can I help you?"

I look up and sees a stout, blue-haired person sitting at the front desk. They adjust their yellow, cat-eyed glasses and continue to type away at their computer. 

"Um, I'm Nate Genericwhiteguy, I'm here for voice acting?"

"Nate? Nice to mean you, I'm Carl Manne. I just need you to fill out this quick paperwork and I can give you a visitor's pass"

I feel myself blush as the receptionist says my name. I had always considered myself straight, but I guess there's a first time for everything. 

"Go to the third room on your Right, 3rd floor, can't miss it"

He smiles at me. I didn't think I had a thing for teeth but maybe I do. Maybe all I needed was a sexy receptionist to bring out all my darkest fantasies.

"Thanks, Carl. I'll see you around."

I step into the elevator on the left of the desk, waving goodbye to Carl. 

"Watch this short video for 30 minutes of ad-free music"
I quietly repeat my lines to myself, knowing that even the smallest mistake could cost me the career of a lifetime. 

I step out the elevator, nervous as heckity dog, and walk down the hallway to the menacing black doorway. 

I step into the interview room where another generic man is sitting.

"Hey, is this where the voice acting auditions are?" Nate asks
"Yep. I'm Kevin Othergenericwhiteguy. You?"
"Nate Genericwhiteguy. What are you trying out for?"

Kevin leans back in his chair
"Watch this short video for 30 minutes of ad-free music"
The words danced out of his mouth, like your drunk uncle when the macarena comes on.

I freeze in my tracks  
That's my ad..
"OH cool, I'm auditioning for that too!" 

Kevin's eyes turn dark. I can't quite put my finger on it, but for a second it seemed like he wasn't entirely human. He stares into my eyes. Time begins to slow down, and I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from inside my own head.

"Don't push yourself, Nathaniel. You don't want to mess with the fate of the universe."

Suddenly, I snap back to reality. The room is now empty, and the clock on the wall says that 15 minutes has passed. Kevin walks out of the audition room and gives me a quick "good luck" and a white person smile as he walks out as if nothing had happened

"Nate Genericwhiteguy? We're ready for you."

I stand up and walk into the room, still disheveled from my weird vision. The room looks as if someone vomited the color beige all over it. Carpet, wallpaper, and popcorn ceiling were all beige or white. The lighting of the room gave off an eerie green glow, making this whole audition feel more like a dream. I mean, this IS my dream job, so maybe that's just part of the vibe here. Sitting in front of me are two people, a dark-skinned woman, and a bald white guy, both in suits, and both of whom look like they could easily kick my ass. 

"Alright Nate, just say the lines we sent you, and then we can wrap this thing up."

I take a deep breath. The dust in the room fills my lungs, and suddenly I'm standing in a field. It's beautiful, full of flowers. The sky is the perfect shade of blue, with just enough clouds to make the whole scene look like a painting. I feel at home, at peace. In the distance, I see a group of people. I can't make out their faces, but they seem to be having fun by a campfire. I begin to feel dizzy, and feel myself wanting to fall down into the tall grass, and sleep forever. A voice in my head, a different one this time, reminds me of where I really am, in that depressing beige room. As I feel myself fall into the flowers, numbness and calm coming over me, I say my lines loud and clear, letting them echo over the rolling hills

"Watch this short video for 30 minutes of ad-free music"