Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 16

And as that Dean realized what the feeling was. He was not just jealous. Hell you had told him that you didn't see Sam that way and (despite how that evil part of him wanted to convince him that something was or could go on between you and Sam – blame the sight in the living room) were not going to anyway. Dean wanted to convince himself that nothing was going to happen between you and Sam – gosh he sounded like such an awful brother at that moment – but even if that didn't happen he knew, it was inevitable, that you'd find someone else.

And that scared Dean to no end.

Yes, he Dean Winchester was scared. Truly for the first time in his life he was scared. Scared of losing you, scared of not having you in his life anymore. He hadn't thought about it in the past, almost to the point of taking your presence by his side for granted, but now with Sam the thought had entered his mind and so had the feeling entered his heart. Dean Winchester was utterly scared.

Scared of the feeling that would come as well when the moment would come and you – maybe it would be with Sam – would make a family of your own and... leave him. You would no longer be his buddy. You would no longer be the shoulder he leaned on when he needed someone. You no longer would be there to smile and brighten up even his worst days. You no longer would be his rock, his friend, his partner in crime... his everything.

You would have someone else by your side – the thought of Sam seeming like the most possible – and not Dean. Dean would become just a friend you once had or, hell that was worse, the brother of your fiance... husband later and uncle of your kids much later.

Dean struggled to breath as the thought entered his mind. And to think it had not started fully yet. No first date or first kiss yet. He didn't want to imagine how he'd be when that moment came.

He clenched his jaw, his eyes shut tightly as he involuntarily kicked a chair. He breathed in and out deeply, all of his feelings mashing up into anger.

"Dean?" came a groggy question.

Dean's head snapped to Sam's direction. He hadn't expected him to wake up. He tried to sooth down himself. Sam wasn't the one to blame after all.

"Sorry. Did I wake you up?" his voice was rough.

"Uh no, no it's ok. It's better actually, I was taking up a lot of space there" Sam chuckled, smoothing down his hair.

"Yeah. I saw that very well." Dean couldn't help the venom from dripping his voice and surely Sam noticed.

"Uh is everything ok man? You- you don't seem really well lately actually" he asked... although quiet honestly he knew the answer very well.

Sam could read his brother like an open book. He knew what he felt even if Dean himself didn't. Or at least tried to ignore.

"Yeah everything's-" Dean stopped himself, looking at Sam in the eyes "No. No actually not so much" he clenched his jaw.

"Oh" Sam breathed "And... what's troubling you? Do you want to talk about it or...?"

"I- Yeah I do. Sam, I gotta ask you something but I don't want you to ask back or- or change the subject. Just- just a clear answer."

"Dean, what is it?"

"What-" Dean swallowed "-What is going on between you and (Y/n), and don't you lie to me Samuel cause I can see right through you and you know it." he said firmly.

"I- I don't know what do you expect me to say Dean. (Y/n) and I- we are just friends, I thought it was very much obvious."

"No. No Sam. Her and I are friends. You- you and her are-"