Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 15

"Yeah, didn't really sleep well last night, once again." He answered scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh I'm sorry. But to cheer you up, there's some just made pancakes sitting on the counter waiting to be eaten." I told him smiling.

"Thanks again, I love your pancakes. Sorry but I'm going to rush before they start cooling down." I nodded and he made his way to finish them up. I entered the bathroom and launched myself towards my makeup bag. Once I took out my razor blade I made some more cuts on my thighs. A sick smile reached my face with the sight of blood. I almost felt proud of the "masterpiece" I was creating. But I knew in less than 5 minutes I would be back to regretting this.

I cleaned everything up and exited the bathroom like nothing happened. I placed myself on the couch. In a matter of no time Josh joined me. For about 20 minutes he just sat there happily enjoying the morning. Sadly, it didn't last long when Josh moved to position himself. He by accident put a bit of pressure on thigh and I winced in pain. He look at me confused and then couldn't resist but to ask.

"Have you been self harming?" His voice vibrated coldly through my body. I froze there not knowing how to respond.

"Of course not Josh. Why would I? I'm getting better." I said trying to keep it cool. He tilted his head in non belief.

"Prove it to me." He spoke.

"How?" I asked him, hoping it wasn't going to end up the way it was playing in my mind. Yet, once again my mind was right.

"Show me your arms." Josh demanded. I slowly nodded and pulled up my sleeves reaching my arms out towards Josh. I sweated coldly while he just sat there staring at my arms hoping he would be fine with that. "Ok, so far so good. Now show me your thighs," He said as he released my arms.

"Why do I need to do that?" I asked nervously.

"Well, I need to make sure that everything is clear." He justified himself. I shook my head.

"Really, there's nothing to worry about. I don't need to show you my thighs." I said trying to remain calm.

"Well, if you're so sure that's there's nothing to worry about, then get over with it." He was pushing my buttons. I guess there was no way to get out of it. Josh knew I was lying. He knew the truth but he wanted me to admit it myself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked back at him.

"Do you really want to see them?" I asked with my voice almost cracking. He nodded slowly. I could see the disappointment in his eyes already. Even though it may seem awkward, I was used to it. I had to do this a few times in my teenage years. I pulled down my pants to uncover the red lines created by myself. He stared at the scars and then lightly put his finger as he went through the newer ones.

"Nicole..." He softly whispered not really knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry" Before I could say anything else, Evan rushed in the room with a happy smile.

"Good morning gu-" He stopped once he looked over and saw my thighs. He started to walk over slowly without taking his eyes off me. "Nicole... why?" He said as he sat down next to me. I shook my head and felt my eyes become watery.

"I'm sorry Evan. I'm really sorry." I cried in his shoulder, covering up once again the scars. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Please promise me that you will stop baby." He asked softly in my ear. All I could do was nod for how dry my throat became. "C'mon, let's go throw away that monster of a razor." He told me and pulled me up. I nodded once more and we made our way to my makeup bag. I took it out and gave it to Evan. He gave me a weak smile and dropped it in the toilet. He then flushed it and we exited the bathroom.