Getting By ~ Cole & Cassie's Story

The Journey Isn't Over Yet ~Epilogue~

I opened my eyes.

Eight little pink plus signs.

I feel hot tears pour out of my eyes and a tingly feeling that is nothing but pleasant. I grab for my phone, trying to calm down. But I’m so excited, so full of this wonderful feeling I cant contain it inside of me.

“Jacob Levine, here.”

“Jake?” I sobbed into the phone, covering my mouth with my hand, trying to control my tears.

“Cass? Oh honey, it-it’s negative, isn’t it?”

“No Jake…I-I…”

“Cassie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I cry “Oh Jake, I-I’m pregnant!”

“Really, Cass? Really?”

“Yes, really!” I say, wiping my eyes that still overflowed from my eyes.

“I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and I rested my head against the wall, blowing my nose, trying to compose myself. In fewer than ten minuets, Jake was suddenly there, still wearing the pressed shit and pants we wore to work.

He kneeled down on the floor in front of me, cupping my face in his hands. He was crying, and kissing me.

“Cassandra Ayden St. Clair, I love you so, so much.” He smiled at me, tears glistening in his eyes “We’re going to be parents, Cassie, parents.”

I laughed “We’re going to need a bigger apartment.”

He shrugged “We’ll figure something out.”

I kissed him “We’ll get by.”

                Cole P.O.V

                “Daddy!” Ayden lifted her arms up at me, flashing me the smile that always made do exactly what she wanted. Cassie scolded me often that I spoiled her.

“Hi Ayden, did you have a good day?” I lifted her up in the air and spun her around, her giggle filling the apartment.

“I thought you might be home,” Cassie said, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. I hadn’t seen her smile so big since the day Ayden was born.

“Cassie, what’re you smiling about?” I asked, settling Ayden on my hip.

“Yeah Cass, you too Jake.” Sophie threw her keys onto the side table and kissed Ayden hello.

“Well…we have some news.”

“Some really exciting news,” Jake said, wrapping his arms around Cassie from behind.

Cassie wiped her eyes “I’m pregnant,”

Sophie screamed and hugged Cassie tightly “Oh my god! Are you serious?”

“Yes, yes I’m serious!” Cassie was crying, and as soon as she let Sophie go I gave her a one armed hug, Ayden screeching and clapping-even though she probably had no idea what was going on.

“Oh Cass,” I said “You deserve this, more than anyone.”

“Thank you, Cole, thank you so much.” Cassie took Ayden from my arms and swung her around. “You’re going to have a cousin!”

“Cousins,” said Jake, laughing and kissing Cassie right on the mouth. “We want more than one,”

“Promise?” Cassie asked, switching Ayden to her other hip.

“Promise,” he whispered.

Ayden shrieked and clapped her hands as Cassie nuzzled her neck, blowing air carefully in her ear. I smiled, picturing Cassie with her own little baby, her own daughter. Ayden had been an accident, something that nobody had planned. But now, none of us could picture our life without her.

I had spent my senior year of high school waiting for her to come; questioning if I was ready, wondering if I could handle being a seventeen-going-on-eighteen dad. If I could raise my kid as well as Cassie raised me.

When I looked at Ayden now, I new that if Cassie hadn’t believed in me and raised me so well when our parents died, I couldn’t have lived through the insults, the stares and the prejudice without her. She had stood by my side for my whole life, even when our parents were alive. She went to all my soccer games, helped me with my homework and gave ‘the talk’-twice.

Now she was starting her own family, and her future kids had the best mom in the world. I knew because she had been my mom, my parent, when she had just lost her own. I was the person-the father-I was today because of Cassie, because of what she did for me. My sister was my hero, and I will never be able to repay her for what she’s done for me.

When I see her now, holding my daughter, wrapped in the arms of her husband, I had never loved my sister more.

***

                I loved watching my daughter sleep. I had ever since she was first born, and I held her for the first time. She had been so tiny, and had grown so much in the past year.

“Cole?” Cassie stood in the doorway, her straight copper coloured hair in a messy side braid and wearing a short house coat. Her green eyes –identical to mine- were bright and warm, just as they were all those times I needed to talk to her; from bullies to girls to becoming a father.

“Can you believe it?” she asked, crossing the small room and peering down into my daughters crib.

“No,” I whispered “I can’t.”

She laughed quietly “Nearly two years ago you were a scared seventeen year old who was terrified of telling me Sophie was pregnant. Now you’re eighteen, still terrified, with a beautiful one year old daughter.”

“How’d you know I was terrified?”

She raised her eyebrows “You think raising a baby is hard, Cole? Wait till she learns to walk, then has friends, then boyfriends.”

“Please, Cassie lets not think about all that until it comes. I want her to stay my baby a little while longer.”

She smiled “She’ll always be your baby, Cole, just like you’re Mom and dad’s baby, my baby brother.”

“Cass?” I looked over at my sister, the same wonderful woman who had reassured me nearly two years ago when I told her Sophie was pregnant “Do-do you wish Mom and dad hadn’t died?”

She didn’t look up, just continued to gaze at Ayden “Of course I do…but if they had lived, so much wouldn’t have happened; I wouldn’t have opened the shop, wouldn’t of met Jake, you wouldn’t of met Sophie…Ayden wouldn’t even exist.”

Never have met Sophie? Never have had Ayden? Life without either of them seemed so…impossible. And Cassie without Jake was like looking at a picture ripped in half; all these people, these relationships, problems, joys, would never have happened if my parents had lived.

“You’re right; I wouldn’t have moved schools, so I wouldn’t have met Sophie, which would mean she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant and…I wouldn’t be a dad.”

Cassie nodded “I wouldn’t be pregnant, or an aunt.”

“Life wouldn’t be the same, would it?”

She shook her head, “No, it wouldn’t.”

We were silent for a while, the only sound was Ayden’s little night noises, our breathing and the wind fighting against the windows.

“We did okay, didn’t we?” I asked, brushing a curl away from Ayden’s forehead.

Cassie smiled “We got by alright, but the journey isn’t over yet.”

I smiled back “It sure isn’t,”