My Little Doll (CielxDoll)

Chapter 4 (Doll)

Doll's Pov:

My heart breaks as I watch Smile's face changed from confusion to anger, then he's running away from me again. I know this time that I don't stand a chance in hell of catching up either. I don't even know what I say that makes him so angry. I call after him but it's useless. He won't stop. I know it.

Frustrated, I kick at the gravel at my feet letting myself loose my generally happy composure. My feeling's are a mess because of Smile, he makes me so agitated and I just want to help him but he makes me happy. What I felt when I was pinning him was mutual. The feeling of a warmth more than just physical heat. I just know he felt it too.

I sigh whilst rubbing my forehead soothingly. I wish he'd stop running away from me and start talking about what's on his mind. Tell me what's plaguing his night terrors. Explain to him understand that he has secrets his secrets and from what I can tell they're painful and horrible. Just like mine.

I sigh defeatedly before making my way back towards the tent, with Smile's pained expressions on my mind. There's nothing much I can do other than wait for him to calm down and return. I wish I could do something but you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

It was almost three AM before he returned, looking purely exhausted. I fought the feeling of wanting to get out of bed and comfort him. It's just bound to cause him to explode again. Smile strips off his scrappy clothes and slips into bed, I catch a glimpse of his ghost white skin in the moonlight as the entrance to the tent is slightly open. Everyone of his ribs are visible, I begin to silently cry.

***

As soon as I woke up I felt awkward. Like I should be walking on eggshells around Smile, I want to confront him but I don't want to hurt him. I could try to ignore him and give him space I suppose. After all he's told me to go away so many times..

Surprisingly, I manage to leave the tent fully dressed without speaking a word to him, giving him nothing more than a couple of hesitant looks.

The atmosphere of the circus is the same as usual. Pleasant, joyful and welcoming. It almost makes me forget about Smiles pain. Almost.

I can't help but feel less positive, which is out of character for me. Nothing feels as good  or brings as much joy to me as it usually does. I sigh as I make my way to get some food, hoping the company of my friends will cheer me up some.

"Mornin' sunshine." Dagger, who's already eating, says as I sit down joining him on the bench.

I dish some eggs and bacon onto my plate before mustering the most believable smile possible. I failed.

"Good morning Dags." I reply. His face morphs into one of concern, it feels as if he's looking right into my soul. Uncomfortable I try to avoid eye contact.

"What's wrong Sis?"

"It's nothing don't worry your pretty little head over me, I'll be fine in a bit. I'm just tired it was cold last night I didn't sleep well at all." I know I shouldn't lie to him, he's only trying to help but that doesn't stop me.

"You sure?"

"Sure." I mumble quietly, keeping my eyes on my food.

I try to carry on eating but I can't even finish. My monstrous appetite unusually curbed. All because I know for a fact that Smile of going without.

Dagger eyes my plate after I get but to leave, but he doesn't say a thing. He just shakes his head disapprovingly, like I would if the tables were turned. However I'm grateful he cares, he's like family to me just like the rest of the forest stringers.

I hope Smile is okay. I don't honestly know how long I can avoid him for. I'll just have to get stuck into my work. Maybe make a new routine to replace the one I've been using tirelessly. Sounds like a plan...

Dedicated to: dragonwritergirl