Dejected

Am I Worth It?

I laughed slightly. "I doubt that. It actually felt pretty damn good to put you in your place." I stood back up, and turned around, then paused abd turned back to face him. He was still on the floor so I walked up to him and kicked him in his stomach. He groaned in pain while Mandy screeched in my ear words I couldn't put together.

"Just a little reminder." I said to him with a smile.

As I turned around I noticed Blair wasn't anywhere in sight. I looked all around me while walking and still couldn't find her. I pulled out my phone and tried calling her but it just kept ringing then went to voice mail. I started to panic slightly wondering why she walked off, and where she went. I looked all around the fair, but still no sign of her. I tried calling and texting her but never got a reply. I started to walk back to my car, and when I got there I saw Blair sitting on the ground leaning up against the passenger side door.

"What the fuck Blair? Why did you just go off like that?" I said slightly yelling, but trying to control it. I walked up closer and noticed that she was crying. Confused I walked closer and knelt down in front of her. I lifted her head up, and saw her eyes were really red, and her make up was running a little. I wiped away her tears then helped her up. I leaned against my car and pulled Blair into a hug.

"What happened B?" I said as I pulled away to look at her, but she kept her head down.

"Do you feel sorry for me?" she asked.

Well that question caught me off guard. "No, why would you think that?" I said as I tucked a piece of her hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear.

"Then why do you hang out with me? After three years of just talking shit to me, why now?"

Letting it slide that she didn't answer my question, I sighed and then replied to her honestly.

"Well I guess it all started the day we got paired up together. I was pissed off at first, but after hanging out with you, and you actually talking to me, I realized how much I still missed and cared about you. These past years I have been trying to avoid those feelings because I wanted to stop caring about you after middle school. Now I understand why you did what you did, but at the time I didn't. I thought you hated me."

I paused to lift her head up so I could look her in the eyes. They were still red, but the tears were gone.

"After we became friends I got to know the real you again. And after all these years I got to be the real me, and you accepted the person I was trying to hide. The more time I spent with you the more I wanted to be around you. You make happy just by being you. I've never felt this way before about anyone, but I love you Blair, a lot."

She looked into my eyes with her lips sucked into her mouth which she did when she was having an internal debate. Finally she sighed, and looked down.

"Look at me Adam. I'm just worthless druggie that hurts herself to deal with life. What happened back there with Brian and Mandy is bound to happen again, and I hate seeing that side of you. I mean, what if I did something you got mad at? Would you ever go off on me like...."

"I would NEVER do anything like that to you, do you understand me?" I said interrupting her then gently grabbed her face on both sides looking her in the eyes. "I will never, ever hurt you Blair. Don't ever question that. I may get mad, but I would never put my hands of you like that. A thought like that wouldn't even cross my mind. You don't have to ever worry about that."

I can't believe she would actually think that. It's all her damn fathers fault. I understand where her mind set is at, but the thought of me hurting Blair in any way makes me feel sick. I would never do anything to this girl in front of me that would cause her pain. I just want her to be happy.