"He's so cute" Skye squealed holding little Jake in her arms as she sat in one of the chairs. I smiled at the sight as my mum took her camera.
"this is a camera moment" she said excited. I rolled my eyes, but didn't object, I was glad she supported me in this. I mean she could have thrown me out of house, yelled at me, anything, but she didn't, neither did my dad, and I was happy for that, I needed their support more then anything now. "say cheese" Skye looked up at the camera, smiling bright.
"I can't believe I'm an auntie!" I was happy that she was happy. I don't know what I would have done if she tought of me for the worst because I was pregnant. She always looked up to me, and I wanted to be the best sister, not someone bad. And with me being pregnant, I hoped she didn't follow my traces in that, and think before she acts. Though I ectually don't regret this. Maybe this is the best thing ever happened. Even if it reminded me of him.
Ryan, Chaz and Lieze also entered the room, returning from the cafetaria, with food for everyone. One by one, they all took my, our little son in their arms. It wasn't just my son, it was ours. How hard it even pained me, that's what it was, ours. I felt tears start to prickle in my eyes. Still feeling the hurt I got when he broke up with me
"I do love you, Scar, more then anything, you know that" he had told me. Why was he doing this then? Why? That was the only question flooding through my mind. And I asked it.
"Why are you doing this to me then? Why? We had 2 years full of us, and now you want it to end? You're confusing me, Justin" I said stepping closer to him. "I just don't understand" I caressed his cheeks, wiping some of the tears that had escaped his eye, away with my thumb, as I felt him do the same to me.
"Because.." he sighed loudly, pulling his hand back, and pushing my hand away from his face. "It's getting to much to handle. The media, the fans, you know?" He was right, lately they did more and more, like they were testing our relationship, how far they had to go for us to be over.
"it never got to us." I answered. He sighed again as my vision became blurry with tears. "you're giving them what they want, can't you see that"
"it's stressing me out, Scar, even you said I'm pretty down lately, it's because of them."
"So you're giving up? Giving up on us, for them? Did I mean nothing to you?" he tried cutting me off, but before he could say anything, I had spoken again. "Never ever, was the media a problem for you, hell even the Mariah yeather thing wasn't to much. We handeled it. Us, together" He looked at me in sadness "but, I guess, if this is what you want, then I have to agree with it, it's not like I can change your mind, now can I?" He shook his head "exactly"
"I better go" he said, He had cupped my face and given me one last passionate kiss before he stepped out of the door of my house, out of my life. And if I had known I was pregnant back then, I would have told him. Right then and there. But I didn't.
I whiped the tears that had escaped my eyes and took Jake back in my arms as everyone had held him. Everyone, except his own dad. But that was never going to happen.
----
"finally" I said plopping down on my bed. I was allowed to go home today and I had just fed Jake and put him to sleep. I got up and made myself ready for bed. It was 10;30 and I was tired. More like exhausted. But I was lucky. Jake wasn't one of them babies that cried the whole time. He only did that when he was hungry. Or when someone he didn't 'know' yet held him. Like yesterday, my cousin, that I barely see, wanted to hold him, and he started crying histericly. He didn't know her.
I crawled into bed after getting dressed and drove off into a deep sleep.
Zzzzzzzz
"WEIH" Jake crying awoke me from my peace-full sleep. I looked at the clock '2;47AM' He was hungry. The nurses had told me that he would wake up in the night because he needed to get feeded. I stood up walking to the baby's nursery and took him out his little bed, taking him with me. I sat down on the bed, pulling down my top and placing him at my breast. He shut the crying almost immediatly and started eating.
I decided to lay him down with me, not bothering to put him back in the nursery, I was too tired anyway. I layed back down, placing little Jake next to me. I had a king size bed so I wasn't afraid of him falling out as I had a lot of space left next to me. I drifted back into a deep sleep.
---
Jake was now 1 month and he had ectually grown alot since he was born. Unbelievable. He was off breastfeeding and now just drunk out a baby bottle, which I was glad for.
All of my friends helped me out a lot with him. But there was one thing that I wasn't looking forward to.
Justin was coming in one month and a half to take a break of his big tour.
I wasn't scared that he would see Jake, discover him and be mad or anything. I was afraid that I would have to face him, which I really should, considering I needed to tell him about Jake, and facing heartbreak all over again.
God help me now, please!
