I Can't Believe It's Not Murder

Chapter 1

A/N: I apologize beforehand if something offends you... Because it surely will offend somebody. My sense of humor offend even myself. If you are prone to being offended, I suggest leaving right now...? If you don't like how the story is written or plays out, I'm sure you can find a place on your screen to poke at to escape. No one is forcing you to read it. There will be lots of RACISM. MISOGYNISM, etc. incorporated into the story to make it resemble the real world. Like, we all know all of these offensive things still exist so let's not just ignore it because it's a sensitive subject. Once again, leave if you don't feel comfortable. I don't mean to cause you any harm mentally nor emotionally.

- - PARIS'S POV- -

"Ah fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck." I whined out loud. "There goes any chance of peace between the two families."

A man around the age of forty laid there motionless on his bed now stained with blood. His name was Richard LeFaye, one of the most notorious names to ever be uttered by another human... Next to my uncle Malum Salazar that is. And no, we're not related to Salazar Slytherin as much as I want Hogwarts to be real.

"Arggh..." A groan was heard from where I stood at the foot of the bed.

"Fuck. You're still alive?" I asked before pulling my gun back out of my holster in case someone burst in. "Shhh. Be quiet. You'll attract the guards if you don't stop groaning like a little bitch in labor."

The body on the bed was slowly getting up. Richard LeFaye was taking his sweet ass time to comprehend the situation that he was in. Sometimes I wonder why these criminal mastermind always act so dramatically when caught. Maybe it's a silent rule of the underworld.

"You!" Roared LeFaye as he broke me out of my train of thought. "I will have your he-"

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

I fired three warning shots to keep him quiet.

"Stop!" He roared again.

Man, these people just don't know when to shut up.

Bang!

Ooh. No more kids for him.

"Shut up before these bullets find its way up your anal walls!" I quietly scolded him. I only have three bullets left and I wouldn't mind using it all on this creeper. He finally stopped making so much noise and I was able to hear footsteps rapidly coming our way.

"Look at what you did. If you weren't so damn loud, I could be home right now getting ready for school tomorrow. Ugh. Old men" I quietly mumbled underneath my breath as I looked out the window to analyze if I could survive by jumping out of a four story high window. There was ladder connected along the wall. That's perfect! I quickly climbed out of the window and onto the ladder. The moment I extracted my foot from the window, a loud crash was heard and footsteps entered.

"She escaped out of the window! Catch that bitch!" Richard LeFaye cried out. I rolled my eyes at the sound of his futile attempts to catch me. You associate with a man's testicles once and he never want to let you go. Ugh. Might as well finish the job.

Propping my calves on one of the ladder's steps and poked my upper body back into the window, I took my aim at LeFaye's head this time.

"Hey, Jackass. I said to be quiet!" I called out to him right before I nailed the last of my bullets in his skull.

His bodyguards instantly turn around to shoot me, but I was able to escape by landing my ass in the water fountain below with a splash. As soon as I got up, I bolted right out of there.