The Suicidal YouTuber

Chapter Five

Lilly's POV

I slowly open my eyes. I am leaning against someone's chest and their arms are around me. I look around the room.

Jc is sleeping in the chair next to me, Kian and Ricky sleeping on the couch, Connor and Trevor sharing a cot next to them. So that must mean Sam is by me.

But then where's Miles?

I stir slightly.

"Lilly?" A husky voice near my head asks.

"Hey. Where's Miles?" I sit up and Sam does too.

"You don't remember?" Sam asks.

"Remember what?"

Kian stirs. "Lilly! You're okay!"

He hugs me. The guys start asleep.

"Hi Kian."

"You scared us. So you know how long you've been out for?"

"No?" I frown, "But it couldn't have been that long."

Sam rubs my shoulders. "Lilly." He says slowly. "You've been out for six days."

My brain spins. Six? How is that even possible?

"Lilly, calm down." I barely hear him.

My heart beats faster. I gasp for breath.

Arms go around me and hold me tight.

I can't breathe.

The room spins.

"I'm right here. Lilly breathe. Its okay."

Slowly the room stops and I can breathe again.

A nurse comes in and the world fades pleasantly.

Sam's POV

She goes limp in my arms

"Holy crap Lilly." I sigh. She can't even handle this. How am I going to tell her about Miles?

The nurse puts a hand on my shoulder. "Her panic disorder is going to need some monitoring. I hope you are up to it, her medical history is not good in the mental health area, I hope you are up to helping her." She looks around the room. "All of you. She doesn't seem to do well with direct confrontations or stress. Please, be careful."

"Of course." I say. I watch her chest rise and fall, looking so peaceful. I wipe the tears that were left just barely under both of her eyes.

The nurse says something else, but I'm too wrapped up in thinking about this beauty and how much I wanted to make her feel better.

The doctor comes in and the nurse hands him the chart.

"Alright. When she wakes up, if she can remain stable for four consecutive hours, she can go home. But she can't have a high heart rate or a panic attack, alright? That's for her well being."

The doctor and nurse leave, and I'm still staring at her.

"I'm hungry." Trevor says.

"Me too!" Jc says loudly.

"Food!" Kian says.

"We should get food then," Ricky says laughing. "Sam? Want anything?"

I look up at him unwillingly, "Where are you going?"

"Taco Bell, probably."

"Get two of my usuals. Lilly can have some when she wakes up."

The guys leave me with her. I smile at her and kiss her forehead.

She stirs and sighs, curling into my chest and hugging me.

"Sam?" She asks quietly.

"Yes?" I whisper back.

"He's gone, isn't he?" She sounds so small, so broken.

"Yes. I'm so sorry." My voice cracks in sympathy for her.

She sighs. "Eh. He was a dirtbag that just wanted sex. I knew it would have happened eventually." She takes a breath. "I just thought I could change him."

I hug her tighter, "Lilly, I know I don't know you all that well but, honestly? I like you a lot, and I know that the guys and I will always be here for you, okay?"

She turns her head up at me. "Really? But I'm so fucked up."

I smile, "You're not fucked up, you're perfect."

Her face turns pink. "Thanks."

She turns her head back into my chest.

Her breathing slows and she is asleep again.

She is so perfect. I can't believe I have a chance to be with the girl of my dreams.