Absent

Ten

I don't know how, but somehow I managed to fall asleep, but it was disturbed by nightmares of Drake with his hands all over me, he face that of a demon's, malformed, hideous.

I woke up several times in the night screaming in the gag, pulling at my restraints. I was in pain. My head swam.

I was making my self bleed even more with all of my moving, warm blood dripping down my arms from wounds I had inflicted from all the yanking.

I wanted out. I needed out. But I knew that the prayers I sent to whoever was up there, watching me, were songs sung for deaf ears. That great being didn't care. Oh, no. If he cared, I wouldn't be in this mess.

I felt dirty. I wanted to burn my skin. I hurt, and my back, slick with sweat and blood, kept sticking to the bed, tugging painfully whenever I moved.

That was not what I imagined my first time to be like. I never had any specifics, but I knew for a fact that being a human sex toy was not it.

Then something else came to mind my parents wouldn't want me back. Not after they learned what happened to me.

I could only imagine what else this man had in store for me, and I feared the day he was done with me. Would he kill me? Would he toss my body somewhere where no one would ever find it? Would anyone ever suspect him?

Face it, you dumb bitch, you are expendable to him. You are simply here so that he had fuck your slutty ass. And you can deny all you want that you  love it, but I know. I know you are hungry for it, thirsty for the pain, for the slicked skin.

There it was again. That voice. The voice that screamed at me in the voices of people I knew.

No one wants you now. Think about it, you damn whore, you are nothing but a breathing faggot fucktoy. Your parents aren't looking for you. Why would they? You are nothing but a slutty bitch who wants nothing more than sex, the rough kind. They don't love you.

No! I didn't want this. I didn't. I would have done anything to get away from this nightmare, even ended my life on my own.

But the voice was true. I was just a dirty slut. He had taken from me the one thing that I had that was precious. Now, I could never answer that question, not with out the looks others, especially adults, gave.

To my self, I whispered out a garbled mess of gag muffled words. Then I began to cough after I tried and fail to swallow.

"I have waited a thousand years."

That was what I hoped my parents whispered, what I hoped they would say, if they ever rescued me from this hell hole. Three days. That is all the more I had been in here and it was already hell. He hasn't even begun with this torture. That, I knew.

But he had forced me to do that with him. He raped me, and no one would ever know. Not ever. It would be the horrific secret I carried because men are not allowed to get raped. It's impossible. If they are gay and they are raped? They wanted it. Because they're gay. "Men can't be raped. Only women. And only the men are the rapists." That what society said.

I had to hide, because otherwise, I would be shunned. That was fucked up. Tell the victim of rape it was their fault or that because of something, their stories don't matter, and they will start to believe it.

They will sink into themselves, afraid of everything because they could end up the the same place they were before, powerless as someone else used them.

Too many people got away with it. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that Drake was never going to be punished for his crime. He had too much money. Get himself in jail? He can pay his own bail. He had the funds for it.

Here I was, lower than whatever was under his foot.

I laid there, unable to fall back asleep after my latest episode, thinking over this. Again, I found myself praying.

"Help me. Kill me if you have to."

I already told you, cunt. Nobody is coming and nobody cares. I bet you, your parents are out celebrating right now, glad they managed to unload a burden like you into someone else.

As the voice continued on, telling so many time how worthless I am, there was a shuffling sound, and the steps in the stairway creaked as someone descended them.

I slammed my eyes shut and tried my best to pretend to be asleep. The bed dipped and I tensed.

"You poor boy." It was a female's voice, older. "You look too innocent to be in this mess. I am sorry. So, so sorry that you were pulled into this horror story. I bet someone is back home, looking for you, praying you will make it safely home." I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a shadowed, wrinkled face.

"Oh, did I wake you?" She asked, going to move.

I shook my head and mumbled something. That's all the more it came out as, anyway.

"I will put this on as soon as our conversation finishes. Just promise not to tell the Master. He will be very out out on the matter." She whispered to me, pointing to the gag and I nodded slowly, watching her, closing one of my fists and holding my pinkie up to the air.

"Good." She reached forward and untied it, pulling it away after a few struggling moments.

"So, what is your name?" She asked as she say on the edge of the bed, stroking my hair, like my mother used to.

That though made my throat closed and I only barely managed to get a strangled "Mitch" out.

"Please, don't cry, Mitch. You have every right, but if you cry, I cry and we run the risk of the Master finding us out. Which would be bad for both of us." She looked away, wiping one of her eyes.

"What's your name?" I asked softly, smiling weakly at her. This situation didn't warrant one, but I still gave it.

"Well, before I came here, before the Master hired me, my mother called me Esfir. But now, it's just Bitch. Or, if I'm lucky, Maid." She laughed bitterly, then froze. There was the creaking of floor boards and the sound of glass hitting the ground. She looked at me, eyes sad, then placed the Gag back on, but not before I got one last question out.

"What does Esfir mean?"

She tied it and began to walk away before she answered. "My mother always told me that it meant Star Like, bright. I have no claim to that name. Not in this hell hole." With that, she left me alone, to think over her.

~°~
This chapter was the second hardest to write because of all of the negative things. I know that people read those things in their own voices sometimes, and I didn't want people to see themselves in those words, but they add to the story. You know what? I'll just shut up Now. Y'all probably don't want to hear this much from me.

Oh, and stay sexy
-Scomiche❤🍓❤