Storm 》Clifford A.U

022;

     "YOU KNOW, I NEVER meant to freak you out." Michael says softly, chest rising and falling rhythmically as he lies on his bed. He had previously been eating a sandwich but now left it half eaten and hastily re-wrapped in tinfoil on the table beside his bed. I sad adjacent to him on Calum's bed, turning my head slightly to look at him.

      "What do you mean?" I respond, eyebrow arching. It had been only a handful of hours since we had met up with Ashton and already, I wanted to again. But unfortunately, I knew that it wasn't likely to happen anytime soon and that I was lucky enough to talk to him when I did.

      "The other night." He exhales, looking uncomfortable. "I wasn't looking to be your boyfriend or anything. It's just that we never really addressed it and then we had sex so I didn't want you to think-"

     "I didn't think anything." I interject, his assumptions causing the slightest hint of anger. "You made it clear what you did and didn't want, and I was fine with that. I am fine with that. People sleep together without it meaning anything all the time, right?"

      "Yeah. Right." He says quietly, arms stretching back over his head. Michael pauses for a second before he looks over at me again, a question he isn't sure he should ask seeming to linger on his lips. "Okay, so, I know it's a sensitive topic, but...I was just wondering something."

     "Wondering what?"

     "Your whole thing about storms, where did it come from?" For a second, I debate whether or not I should tell him. It was something I didn't necessarily talk about often. It made me feel stupid, like it was a fear that shouldn't really have existed. Like I was almost irrational for having it. Out of everyone I told (outside of my family), Luke was the only one who was understanding. Everyone else brushed it off or made it seem insignificant so after a while, I didn't really want to tell anyone else. Somehow though, I knew Michael wasn't one to downplay someone else's feelings. So I told him.

      "It started when I was six. I was out playing in these woods that were around our house. My mom never really liked me going up there but she knew that I loved it so as long as I was back before dark, she always let me go without a problem. One night though, there was this baby bird and it was injured so I wanted to try and help it because I knew if I left it there, it would probably die. I didn't see his mom around, so I tried to kind of nurse it back to health myself. I must have spent two hours collecting pieces of branches and leaves to get some kind of a nest built for it. And then it started raining, but I still wasn't done helping, so I didn't want to go back home yet." I swallow softly, conscious of the fact that Michael hadn't stopped looking over at me the entire time that I had started speaking. He was actually paying attention and to my relief, had yet to add any negative or judgmental comments.

     "I sort of lost track of time, I guess. I was climbing trees and digging in the ground, trying to find a spot that would be safe for the bird and looking for food for it, too. And I didn't know that during a thunder storm, trees are pretty much some of the worst things you could possibly be around. I was up on one and I got hit by lightening and was more or less catapulted into a river nearby. I was in so much pain that I couldn't really move, and I was going into shock while struggling to keep myself from drowning. I got carried upstream in the river for a while and since it was dark, it was hours before my parents were actually able to find me. At the time, I thought that they would never be able to. Afterwards, they got me out and drove me to a hospital to check for damages and obviously I'm fine now but, it's just something that sort of stuck with me.

     "Everytime there was thunder, or lighting, or really any hint of a storm, I was terrified. I ran to my parents' room --or Darya's-- whoever would be closest. And I thought that they would all be enough to keep me safe from anything. But even now I'm still scared and it's gotten worse because the night that Darya went missing, well, it was a snow storm." I stop, hugging my knees to my chest and wishing all at once that I had never started talking about this in the first place. "Like I said, it's pretty stupid." My voice trails off, heart beat pumping rapidly as I silently will Michael to talk about something, anything else.

      "I don't think that's stupid at all. It happened to you when you were younger sure but that doesn't mean you can't still be affected by it. I think it's a perfectly rational thing to be afraid of, especially given your circumstances." Michael pauses, a thoughtful look spreading across his features. "I kind of wonder what happened to the bird, though." 

     "I wonder that too sometimes but, I guess I'll never know." I respond, feeling curious myself. That, and, a little bit resentful. But of course, the bird wasn't at fault for what happened that day. It was just a prime of example of the one of many times in which I made the wrong decision.

       After this, the room is quiet, although not uncomfortably so. Michael starts scribbling away in his bed, looking completely focused as he hunches over a notebook, pencil in hand. I observe him if only for a second, noticing how completely in his element he looks. More often than not, his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, concentration clear as day in the lines upon his forehead. I try to call Mama but she doesn't answer, even after I call a second time ten minutes later. I don't leave a message, and only hope that her lack of a response is because she is sleeping. Lately, she had been trouble doing just that. She had trouble doing a lot of things, actually, unless it involved either one of three things. The first was sitting on our living room couch while staring lifelessly at the walls. The second was watching the news on a loop, day after day, hour after hour. And the third was pretending that she was perfectly fine and not doing either of those two things. 

      I found that the news reports were all relatively the same. A robbery, a murder, a suicide. A local hero doing what they do best--saving the day. Repeat, change the name, change the location, and repeat again. She was waiting for news about Darya but it seemed like none ever came. If it did, it was useless information that wouldn't help us in the slightest. These days I thought that maybe no news was a good option compared to the alternative. Compared to the fact that any day, the news anchors could plaster on a frown and recite the words they are told to as they run through a screen. It will be a heartfelt paragraph--if even that. My sister's name will be said, and there will not be a happy ending, and everyone will feel bad until the next awful thing happens and they redirect their attention to that instead. There's always a next awful thing and all that I ask is for Darya to never become one of them. Lately, I am beginning to wonder if she already has.

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hEY WHATSUP HELLO! i miss you all tons and hope that this story is still keeping you somewhat entertained. i have two days left of school so expect more frequent updates, as well as longer ones. i hope that those of you who took the sat recently, whether it was in march or may or earlier this month did super gr8 and that school went well and that you can all enjoy your summers :) i'm going to be a senior next year so i'm a pretty terrified but it's all good!!! i'm going to try and crank out tons of chapters for storm this summer and maybe possibly even finish the story but idk that's hoping for a lot so we shall see! ideally i'd like  to try and get back to weekly updates like i had for the book thief (which i miss so so much my little kuke babies :( bUT yeah let's hope that i can make that happen for storm)

 sorry that this chapter is short/uneventful and that this story is a bit of a mess but mystery stuff is new for me and i'm still trying to get the hang of it, have everything tie together and make sense so pls bear with me. aLSO WHO'S READY FOR GIRLS TALK BOYS IN JULY AND NEW MUSIC IN OCTOBER WOOOOO xx