Tough Love

Chapter Thirty

I freeze, but I can't stop the shaking. He doesn't cover up what he previously said, but he asks, “What happened baby?”

I sob, “I can't...”

He sighs, a deep, sad sigh. “Dani, I'm not going to hate you. I'm not going to think any different of you...”

“You think that now, but you will. I can't take back those words if I say them. I can't, Eli...”

“Shh, shh. It's ok Dani. Listen to me. I don't think anything you say can be worse than what my mind has conjured up. But if you're not ready to tell me, then I'll just wait until you are... I just want to know how to help you... I want to know how to comfort you...”

“I just want it to stop. I want it to go away. I don't want to remember anymore...”

“I know you don't, sweetheart. I don't know how to change that, but I'm going to try. You want me to stay in here?”

“I don't know.”

“I'll just sit on the chair until you fall asleep, ok?”

“Yes sir.... Eli?”

He pauses on his way to the chair and turns to face me. I slowly stand up, and before I can second guess myself, I wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him. I think he's shocked, because his breathing stops for a few seconds and he doesn't move. After he realizes what's going on, he whispers, “I'm going to wrap my arms around you, ok Dani? Don't panic, baby. It's just me...”

He wraps his arms around my waist and even though I tense up, I don't retract or run away. Instead, my heart breaks just a little more and I can't stop the sobs that rip through my body. Eli just holds me and strokes my hair every so often. I know he's whispering things to me, but I can't hear what it is. I just know that I'm using this man for comfort. I don't know why or how I got to this point; I only know that he comforts me. I can't explain it; he just makes me feel safer and … comforted.

The rest of the night was pretty restless, but not as bad as the first nightmare. Eli stayed on the chair in my room and it was like things quietened down a little because he was there. We're both tired and we're just leaving for work. I have no idea what's in store for this day, but I don't know if I can get through it. I look at Eli and he looks tired too. I whisper, “How do you do it, sir?”

His head snaps towards me as we walk and there's a confused look in his eyes as he asks, “Do what, sweetheart?”

“Get through the day. Aren't you tired?”

“Yes, but I served in Iraq and Afghan with less hours sleep. So, a few hours here is better than what I got out there. I'm ok, honestly. How are you?”

“Tired, but I'm used to it.”

“I wish I could make it better...”

A truth slips out before I can stop it, “You already do...”

He looks shocked, “I do? It doesn't seem like it.”

I'm embarrassed but I have to tell him, it's like a compelling need to clarify. “You weren't here before. You make it more... manageable.”

He shoots me a smile and says, “That's good to know. We'll get there, Dani. Somehow we'll work it out. Just hold on to that. Ok?”

“Yes sir.”

As soon as we step onto our floor, the Captain meets us. “Dani, the bank are not being very helpful. I want you to dig up anything and everything you can on them. Something doesn't seem right. I'm going to speak to the manager today.”