Seriously Joking, Jokingly Serious

Chapter VII: The Other Side (Part I)

Renji's POV:

Evening was taking over Kyoto as Hajime and I strolled through its main streets. It was a rare chance for us to enjoy the crisp air, given our daily schedules.

Breezing through the bustling streets left a giddy yet somewhat heavy feeling inside me. Carefree days such as today were almost non-existent in my life, even as a child.

Being forced to become mature at a young age has it drawbacks. Talk about your childhood being stolen.

Thus, the way I act now. Some people see me as an idiotic daredevil who thrives on danger. And they couldn't have been more correct.

How do I live my life? Simple. I live it to the fullest. I seize every moment. Regrets? There's no room for any of that.

So much for my instant philosophical musings. I should be enjoying Hajime's company now.

"I think it's time to return home." Thanks for reminding me Hajime, I thought sarcastically. I don't want to go back to reality yet.

"Why? It's not like the mansion's gonna burn down or get plundered," I said. Security's so tight there, an intruder will have a hard time breaking in.

"I know. May I just remind you we have patrol duty in the morning?" he replied. Hai, hai, mom. But not before...

"One more hour, pretty please?" I cajoled. "I haven't had dango yet." A quiet stroll anytime of the day wouldn't be complete for me without this treat.

"Alright. As if I or anyone could keep you from your precious dangos," Hajime mentioned. "Let's find a sweets shop still open at this hour." Way ahead of you, bro.

Luck seemed to be on our side as we spotted a sweets shop we often frequent on our days off. Good thing it's still in business at this hour.

"Ren, wipe your droll off." Was I drooling? Hajime, you sneaky little tease. I'll get you later. My dangos come first...

Sticks of dangos neatly wrapped in a package filled my hands a few minutes later. Yum, yum.

Boy, is today my lucky day or what? Not only was I able to sweet-talk the owner in giving me a good deal; Hajime even paid for them.

Our footsteps echoed as we continued to make our way through the crowded streets. I could care less about my surroundings. I'm happy stuffing my face with my beloved dangos.

We soon reached a relatively quiet part of the street which would lead us to our home. Only a few people were here now since it was getting quite late.

Quiet didn't mean lifeless, though. Samurais milled around, seeming to be on the look out for something exciting.

Maikos and geikos were also on the prowl, seeking customers. Some even smiled seductively at our direction. Too bad... I'm don't feel like getting laid this night. As for Hajime? Good luck...

My walking speeded up a bit since I felt the sudden urge to go home. Yeah, I change my mind A LOT. But no more of that. My dangos and I need our quality time...

"Oi Ren! Wait up, you ungrateful brat!" Catch me if you can, dude.

Hajime soon caught up with me, all sweaty yet still in good shape. I believe the impromptu chase left him hungry... Quite hungry, in fact, that he took some of the dangos I had. It's unusual for him since he doesn't like sweets.

"Payback's a bitch right, Hajime?" I said, in a sing-song voice "That's for teasing me a while ago." Kidding... "Now let's go home."

Life has a way of messing things up. Just when I was raring to be home, this thing had to come up. What am I referring to? Nothing much. Just a couple of drunken low-lifes about to molest two maikos.

"They need help," Hajime mentioned. Obvious much? I don't feel like playing hero today, buddy.

"So?" I replied. "Do we really need to step in and save them?" Much as I would like to imitate Hajime and be a gentleman, I can't. After all, one can only do so much.

"Have it your way, Ren" he said with a resigned sigh. "If you don't want to help me, fine." Fair enough... "Wait for me while I decapitate these sorry excuses for human beings." Oh, the scary side of Hajime is coming out.

He then started to walk toward the maikos. Even in dim light, the determination to end this fucked-up scene radiated on his face. You go, Hajime.

I awaited what would happen next, sure that I would see a good show. Come on, come on.

Something seemed to be off, though. Wait... Hajime's retracing his steps? Scared? Nah, he's not. With his skills, he would never back down from a fight. So, why is he stalling?

"Ren..." he called. "You might want to help me out now." This is new. Hajime is asking for help? Sure, we have each other's backs. But I think these jerks are no match for him.

"Chickening out all of a sudden, Hajime?" I taunted. Who knows? He could be doing so.

"No, I haven't" he answered. "I just thought you would want to know who those jerks are about to molest."

Who? "Spit it out, I don't want to wait around for the answer," I said.

"Oh, no one special. Just Yukina-san and Chiaki-san." Say what? Now that's a different story.

I strode over to where Hajime was, sending a cold glare to the bastards at the same time. You got a death wish, punks? Your wish, my command.

I maybe a playboy. Ok, I admit I am. But I have never forced myself on a woman.

"Now, now Hajime" I said. "Why waste your time decapitating them when castration would do fine?" Yeah, I'm a sadist alright.

"Sounds like a good plan," Hajime said. Is it just me or did his expression turn slightly sadistic? Well, it doesn't matter much. On to the action...

No time to lose now... Freaking assholes, I'll show you what real harassment is like.

(A/N: And I'm done with a new chapter *throws glittery confetti around while doing a silly victory dance* Enjoy dear readers.

So this is what takes place when the perverted prankster becomes a gentleman for a change.

Next Chapter's Teaser:

"I'm not making fun of you," he replied. Good... "I'm insulting you." Say what?

When the prankster steps in to save the man-hater, will her view of him take a turn? Find out in the next chapter.

Have a good morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are, minna. See you soon.