B R E A T H E

four.

he was sitting at a coffee shop near campus. the aroma of his white chocolate mocha making its way into his noes. he had skipped his afternoon class and decided on coming here. there wasn't any point in staying if he didn't have any work to do. he sat by the window, the dim glow of the afternoon sky casting a shadow on the curves of his body. it was a cloudy day, the sun barley making its way through the thick gray clouds. he pulled out his phone snapping a quick picture of the calming atmosphere that is the outside. he began to think, he always found himself thinking of something.

but this time it was someone. 

that someone had a name, yes but he wouldn't dare say it, not even a mere mumble. names lead to faces and faces lead to curiosity and (in his mind) lead to liking, which leads to clouded thoughts, clouded judgement.

and he didn't need that. not again, not now. 

he was in a relationship before, yes. the boy was too good to be true. he showered him in gifts gave him affection. perfect relationship right? in the beginning maybe, but what about later? they argued. things were thrown and they cried. he was so blind, thinking he would go back to his old ways. but he never did. . they still fought, still cried and things were still thrown. eventually he called it quits, ended it. the man that was his boyfriend didn't seem to care. told him that he was seeing someone else anyway. even though they stopped being the perfect couple that everyone thought they were, those words still hurt him. they cut through him viciously. tormented him, teased him. in that moment he wasn't angry nor sad. he just looked at the man and nodded.

was he too far gone?

there wasn't any emotion in his face. there wasn't a single tear. just a simple nod. 

connor had been thinking so much that he didn't know he was crying until he saw his vision blur. he had to stop, he needed to. if he began to full on cry he would never stop. he got up, went to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. when he was done his eyes were red and his skin was pale. he wanted happiness, craved it almost. he began to forget what it felt like, happiness. but was there any hope for him? did he dig too far to climb up he wanted help, he needed help.

he needed troye.