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DEAR ELIZA....
its been 738 days since you died. yes, i've been counting. its been a habit of mine since the day of your funeral and i can't stop. sometimes, i try to contact you through my dreams. i sound crazy just thinking about it. but i need to know if you're okay. if you're okay, up there. if you're out there, give me a sign. a gist of wind, moving the book off the shelf, anything. i want to know if you're okay.
its currently day 738. i had a pretty bad day. i misplaced my keys, i was almost late to school, and i stubbed my toe. you probably would be laughing at me for stubbing my toe. you always do. but anyways, i'm probably going to be even more late to school now that i'm staying up at 4am writing to you. i guess i just miss you. we all do.
its nearly 4:30 am. this has become a habit of mine also. waking up near 4 o'clock in the morning and writing to you. sometimes, i would even call your cell, hoping you would answer. this is hard. sometimes i try to ignore this feeling in me. i know that its normal. people leave, people die. but, ignoring it won't make it go away. yes, i have a therapist. but they don't help that much. i can't even eat or thing straight, knowing you aren't alive. i couldn't believe it at first. you were dead, right in front of me. it had just looked like you were just sleeping. grief really does hit you in waves.
you are my first love, and i'll never forget you. no matter what. you will always be my side until the day i die. we're like scallison. (by the way, i hope you love that i did watch teen wolf after lillian showed me that scene, just for you.)
