Poetry

The Agony of Love

The agony of loving another

Is akin to that of reading a book

I had long admired that boy from afar

Begging for bravery to make that first step

Just as I glanced longingly at that book on the shelf

Promising to find the time one day

I found the courage and succumbed to my desire

And marvelled at the sight of him in the flesh

Just as I grasped the leather book tightly in my hand

Becoming thirsty for more, more, more

I admired the boy's grace

And came to believe he was mine

Just as I caressed the gorgeous cover

With gentle touches and warm smiles

Suddenly he opened up to me

Revealing a little bit more

And I knew that he was special

Because I was the first he told

Like the author's dedication

To their mother or their neice

That little touch made him special

And pulled at my heartstrings

Then one day he let me explore

The warmth and tenderness of his soul

He swore on his life to love me

Just as I loved him

Uncovering the facets of his beauty

Like the way his lip tembled when he cried

Or why he hated confined spaces

Unless I was there to take his hand

As I turned each page in that volume

I fell deeper into this crafted world

It gave me hope and endless promises

That I would never be in life alone

The words brought immense comfort

And I was not embarrassed to cry

Because I trusted that space with my deep secrets

And vowed to remember their story

An accidental slip of misogyny

Then the raising of his hand

I heard the venom in his voice

And crumbled in the pain

All these little things were discovered

And I saw him as a whole

Just as I finally saw through

Those deceiving marketing strategies

A boy held my hand

A book was on my shelf

It was a façade for those around me

Who swore he was like everyone else

I saw him again last fortnight

In the hands of a new lover

I recalled that I had loved him

But could not remember why