Silently Falling

Chapter One (Edited 8/28/2020)

I was at my first party. My older brother, Toby, has always been with the 'it' crowd. Even as a sophomore he was being invited to the senior parties, and he rarely turned them down. One day he finally gave in and let me and my best friend, Alyse, tag along with him and his best friend, Warren. 

Warren was a big part of the reason I wanted to go so badly. He was my brother's hot best friend, and I wanted the cliché love story where we fell in love and lived happily ever after. I figured a party would be a good start to that, he would finally notice me as more than just his best friend's little sister. I was so naïve. 

Much to my surprise, it worked. Warren was all over me. He was constantly making sure my drink was full, taught me how to play the drinking games, and had me attached to his side the whole time. I felt like I was on cloud-nine. I had a crush on Warren since he and Toby became friends back in fifth grade. Toby didn't think twice about it, he was off on his own flirting with the senior girls that would give him the time of day. He figured I was safe with his best friend. So did I. 

However, soon enough I realized I drank too much. I started to feel sick, I was incoherent, the room was spinning. Warren quickly noticed and offered to take me away from the party and upstairs so I could lay down, and I let him. He seemed worried about my disoriented state of mind. I soon passed out, only to wake up to a throbbing pain down below, and it didn't take long for me to realize what had happened. My innocence was gone, snatched from me against my will. 

I haven't spoken since. 

Memories of what happened came back to me in waves in the days after it happened. My dad put me into therapy. Through meeting with me therapist, I was able to recall certain details that I wish I never did. They thought that having me remember and writing about what happened would help my voice come back, but soon my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD that was blocking me from being able to talk and shortly after that I stopped trying. I ended up learning sign language as my way of communicating, or writing things down since the majority of people don't understand ASL. Toby and my dad learned it with me, as well as my closest friends.

I shake my head and walk back down the hall and into Toby's room, blaring the air horn into the silence. Flinching at the noise, I watch as they both shoot up in a panic, but seconds later Toby's blue eyes land on me and he groans, burying his head under the pillow while the girl next to him tries to hide under him, frantically asking what's going on. I suppose I could have chosen another plan of action to wake them, one that may not have been as traumatizing for the girl, but nothing beats the sound of an air-horn. 

I go downstairs to start cooking breakfast for Toby and me. I would make some for the girl too, but I know my brother's ways. She won't stay for longer than another few minutes, repulsed by my brother and his player ways. 

As though acting out my thoughts, angered footsteps come storming down the steps and an equally pissed off voice follows. 

"Lose my number, asshole!" 

The front door slams shut, echoing in the house. I'm surprised the poor girl was even allowed to stay the whole night, Toby usually kicks them out after he's had his fun. I don't condone what he does, but I've learned that I can't necessarily stop him. 

I frown and pour the pancake batter onto the griddle, shaking my head slightly at my brothers antics. He has a new girl at least once a week, and this girl lasted one night before being kicked out. Most don't last longer than that. Toby is famous for his record of one night stands. It's not exactly a superlative I would want to have, and it's not exactly something I like to brag about at family reunions.