They're Made of Glass | SEVENTEEN

16 | bibbity bobbity bookwan

The corner of his mouth twitches at that, which takes some of the weight off of my shoulders. But it's still nerve wracking. My insides feel like they've been blended to bits.

I swallowed. "But I just- I'm sorry..." I managed to say. "You're someone important to me and I'll always feel indebted to you...but I can't- I can't-"

"I understand," he assured me quickly, stepping away. "I've always known that you felt somewhat...guilty whenever you were around me. Maybe guilty is not the right word, but what I mean is that it wasn't right of me to just force my money onto you. It burdened you and made you think I was some Saint or something when I'm not." He shook his head, eyes narrowed in disgust. "I fucking took advantage of your feelings, knowing that your guilt would maybe keep you from flat out rejecting me because maybe - just maybe - you would feel the same way I felt for you. You thought I was someone I just wasn't."

I blinked, my eyes tracing his injuries. "I have a feeling that this isn't just about the confession."

He didn't meet my gaze and instead, brought his hands together in tightly clenched fists that were shoved deep in his pockets. I knew that Jihoon was an experienced fighter and didn't hesitate when it came to using his fights. I saw him beat a man half to death not too long ago. In short, I knew what he was capable of and I knew that he'd never get beaten this badly unless-

Unless he didn't even try to fight back.

"Jihoon...where did you get those injuries?"

He froze. Instead of responding, he just turned his head away and studied the floor tiles. As he did, his hair shifted and revealed thick purple marks that were fading into his cream skin. Here's a secret I've never told anyone: on my first of school when I saw Wonwoo and Hoshi shoved to the floor, Jihoon's hands covered in their blood, I swear I saw those exact same marks except on his wrist.

I thought at first it was just a result of Hoshi or maybe Wonwoo resisting during the fight, but there were no other serious marks on Jihoon. Plus, with how beat up the other two guys were, I just dismissed it with the thought that maybe his girlfriend at the time was into some kinky shit.

"Don't worry about it." He replied after a while. "It's not anything like Jeonghan's situation. No, I just wanted to tell you all of this before I gave you Seokmin's letter."

I suddenly feel like I'm moving underwater, like I'm weightless, or I'm watching myself from a distance. My lungs are burning and my entire chest feels like it's on fire. Then I remember to breathe and the sweep relief of air fills my lungs until I feel so dizzy that I wobble, Jihoon's hand instantly grabbing onto my shoulder to help balance me out. The world spins and the light overhead doubles then triples until I can't tell which light is real and which one is just my mind playing tricks on me.

But then out of Jihoon's pocket comes a crumpled up letter. My hand is shaking when I take it. I think I understand what people mean when they talk about out of body experiences because I'm feeling it right now. It's almost as if the hand peeling open the envelope right now isn't mine, like I'm watching someone else open the letter - Seokmin's last words, last explanation, to whatever the hell's been going on these past few weeks.

Hey,

If you got this letter then it means I've no other way of contacting you and this is most likely the last time you'll ever hear from me again. I bet Inha's made sure of that. She found out a couple days after the Christmas party that I knew a bit more than I was letting on. Of course, she didn't know that you now knew as much as I did, but even the mere thought of someone tipping you off about this big charade probably scared her enough to make her send me off. But don't worry, your good friend Hana warned me in advance. I had enough time to prepare myself for that inevitable day and luckily, it came much later than expected.