Why Bother??

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•Jordan's POV•

Three more days. Three more days of hell are left. Three more days of being stuck in this cramped bus with too many people. Three more days until I can be alone, until I don't have this boy band breathing down my back.

"Jordan!! Please come to the park today!!" Louis whines through the curtain. Ever since the incident in the bathroom, I haven't left my bunk. Whenever someone tries to talk to me, I flip them off. I don't want to be in the public eye. I don't want to be around the paparazzi. I don't want to be around the insane fans that are non stop screaming. It drives me crazy, the screaming, it gives me wicked migraines and I just can't handle being around... people.

"No and that's that Louis. Period. Whatever. I don't want to go outside." I moan from my pillow. I need to shower but I can't be bothered getting up.

"Please Jordan!! The vitamin D will help you feel better." Louis continues to push.

"No Louis. I don't want to go outside. So stop pestering me and bother someone else. And I have nothing wrong with me. I'm perfectly fine." I snap, attempting to keep my temper under control. I have always been hotheaded, short tempered but that's besides the point, I hate to be pestered.

"Seems like you need some special time to yourself." Louis mutters as he walks away from my bed.

"Fuck off Louis." I mutter myself as I 'relax' back into my bed. Reaching for my journal and pen, I begin to think of a letter. Who should I address it to? What should I write??

My Mum? No she wouldn't give two shits worth.
My Dad? Possibly, I mean he did try to search for me. Maybe I should go back to Manchester and visit Gabriel's grave. I haven't visited him since the funeral.

Tugging on the curtain, I dangle my legs off of the side of my bed before climbing down properly. My feet pad down the carpeted hallway and silence hits me square in the face as multiple eyes gawk at my appearance.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I snap before focusing my attention on Liam. "Liam, are you stopping at or near Manchester during this horrible tour?" I ask sweetly. I'm telling the truth though, its their tour and its fucken annoying.

"Um, Yeah we are but it's only for a day. Why??" Liam answers and then asks a question of his own.

"Just wondering." I send a fake smile to everyone in the room before I exit the.. uh.. lounge.

"What's up with Jordan Lou?? She was being horrible to you before but now she's being 'nice'?" A feminine voice asks the outgoing Doncaster boy.

"I dunno but it's bloody confusing with her mood swings. I think she is bipolar but I don't wanna make assumptions." He replies smartly. He must know I'm eavesdropping.

"Personally I don't know why you bother trying to be nice to her boys. All she does is cry, scream and fight with you. To me, she seems very ungrateful and very spoilt." Eleanor starts. I knew it!! I knew she was only pretending to be nice to me.

"El, that's a little unfair considering what she's been through." Lou defends me.

As I lean against the wall, my legs begin to shake from being in the awkward position.

"It doesn't matter what her past is about Louis, all that matters is that she is nice to you and is a more grateful for what you have done." Eleanor finishes her side of the argument.

I have had enough of the bullshit that is being drawn out. I need to say something. Now.

"Guys I have had it up to here of you talking behind my back. Oh and dearest Eleanor, you need to work on your fucking whispering skills because they fucking suck. Anyway. I've had enough of the bullshit that is being drawn out and I can't wait to be with Gabriel. My only friend. My best friend. The one who was there for me when NO one else was." I explain, my blood boiling as it does before I explode. "Like Eleanor said, I don't even know why you bother trying to help me when it's clear that I don't WANT IT!!!" My voice raise towards the end of my sentence. I can feel my blood's temperature increasing as I become more and more fuelled up with anger. "I've had enough of everything and I can't fucking wait to go see Gabriel!!!" I finally let my anger out as many wide eyes stare at me.

My eyes send death glares to each and every person that is sitting in this congested room. I can see the same question behind each of their eyes.
'What does she mean?'.

Stalking out of the room angrily, I mutter unrepeatable words under my breath.

"Jordan you're very rude to these boys." One feminine voice states.

"Congratulations Captain Obvious." I reply and salute to Eleanor.

"Don't be a smartarse Jordan. I'm serious. You need to appreciate these boys in helping you." Tessa buts in.

"I don't need any fucking help Barbie. I needed help four fucking years ago. And now... now it's a little too fucking late for the help I need."

"Don't call me Barbie. My names Tessa." Barbie replies firmly.

"Whatever. I don't really give a fuck." I state while walking towards the front of the bus. "Driver please stop the bus. Please."

The bus comes to a halt and now it's time for me to leave this place. Grabbing my bag gleefully and flipping the bird, I stumble down the steps of the bus. The pavement connects with my shoes and I know that now, I'm free. My pace quickens as my surroundings become even more familiar.

•~•~•

The sky has become a dark purple. The dark clouds are filled to the brim with rain.

'Here Lies Gabriel.
Taken by The Wind So Young.
A Loving Son, Uncle, Brother and Friend.
Always will be missed.

26 October 1995 - 15 September 2012.'

The cement headstone holds a tear brimming message. Even though his gravestone is covered in bird shit and dead flowers have decomposed at the head of his grave, I will always love him.

I don't know if my feelings are just friendly or more. Love is an emotion that I've never felt before because no one has ever loved me. I trusted Gabriel more than I did my own parents. I know that sounds extremely terrible, but they never loved me so why return the affection??



•Harry's POV•

Ugh that girl just makes me so mad!! She's so arrogant and rude and disobedient and ugh.

I know that all of this attention is new to Jordan but she could take it a bit more nicely.

It surprised me a lot when she started being smart towards Tessa and Eleanor. I mean what did they ever do to Jordan??

I know Jordan has been through a lot in her short life but its not fair on us if she takes out her bottled up anger on us. It was uncalled for when she was being rude to El and Tess. It was mean and not nice.

"I just can't believe her behaviour at the moment. Something has changed inside of her and I think it's extremely dangerous if she is alone." Liam informs us.

"Well there is nothing we can do now because Jordan has run off somewhere in the middle of Manchester. I don't know the area very well so." Louis starts. "But Eleanor knows Manchester like the back of her hand!!"

"Well if we are to look for Jordan, what place is she likely to go to??" Niall asks, as his fingers entwine with Tessa's.

"Jordan said she was going to visit Gabriel. Gabriel is dead... She's at the cemetery." Liam thinks out loud.

"Who the hell is Gabriel??" I ask, obviously confused.

"Right she never told you. Umm.. Gabriel is- was her best friend. Her only friend."

My jaw falls to the ground as everything clicks into place. Gabriel died. Oh. Oh. This isn't good.

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