Oeuvre 102
Anne's POV:
Nights earlier...
Matyaga kong hinintay na magising si Fait-chan. Recent lang niya tinapos ang kanyang solitary confinement. He's too fragile that's why I never left his side.
Muli kong hinawakan ang malamig niyang kamay. Hindi ko na kayang bilangin kung ilang beses ko nang ginawa iyon since dinala ko siya rito sa kanyang kuwarto.
It's as if I needed some kind of assurance that he's here and that this is not a dream. Though... I—my heart feels practically empty. Bukod sa naramdaman kong excitement noong muli kaming magkita ni Fait-chan... wala na akong ibang nararamdaman para sa kanya. It shouldn't be that way.
Because... I already decided...
Napansin ko na gumalaw ang kilay ni Fait-chan. I squeezed his hand. He slowly opened his eyes and squinted.
"Fait-chan... I'm here..." I said, hoping for him to be guided by my voice while he's adjusting to the room's lighting.
Nang bumaling siya sa akin, kaagad niyang pinilit na bumangon. Mukha siyang may gustong sabihing mahalaga. "Beb... this can't wait," aniya.
"Makikinig ako," sabi ko sa kanya.
He gently stroked my hair. "I love you..." He said in a faint whisper.
"I love you, too," mabilis kong sagot. Naiyak ako pero pakiramdam ko talaga ay may kulang dito sa puso ko.
Fait-chan kissed me in the forehead. When I saw him again, he looked serene, as if he's ready for something. "But you really don't. It wasn't love that you're feeling. It's just mere fidelity. I monopolized your heart since when you are young."
"N-No!" Tutol ko. "I really love you... I can—"
"You can't feel it." Fait-chan finished the sentence. "I already loved someone before you were even born. I am miserable and I thought I could feel better if I dragged someone down with me. You don't deserve this, beb."
I sighed. "But you just said you loved me!"
"I do. I have fallen in love with you. But this is unfair to you. Especially now that I can't stay with you anymore."
"H-Huh?" I was dumbfounded. "Bakit?"
"I'm dead..."
Dead? What does that mean? Umiling ako kay Fait-chan. "Hindi kita maintindihan."
"Matagal na akong wala. 'Ako' na nakikita mo ngayon... this is not real. This is just an illusion."
I still find it hard to give in. "No. You're just tired. Kagigising mo lang mula sa iyong solitary confinement."
Binawi ni Fait-chan ang kamay niya na hawak ko. Humawak siya sa magkabila kong balikat at tumingin nang buong seryoso sa mga mata ko. "This is an illusion that could penetrate the five senses of even the most powerful being. This is my last will... my last power."
Wala akong masabing kahit na ano. Hinayaan ko lang ang mga mata ko na lumuha.
"Even if you don't believe me... lilipas pa rin ang oras. I will still be gone because this isn't a long term illusion. I could also rip myself apart after I told you everything you have to know."
"W-What really—happened to you?" I asked him in between my sobs.
"Gaya nina Kan, I am an experimental adoptive son of Vral. I may have survived their tests and the plague... but one way or another, something inside me will consume me. It can make me lose myself. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kapag hindi ko na nakilala ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. So I prefer to die."
