Amish Jedi: In a City Far, Far Away

Episode 9.3 ~ Marty McFly

"But you don't want to talk about it?" he says, sounding just like Edward in the scene where he's driving Bella home after buying her ravioli in Port Angeles. 

"It hurts," my voice quakes and part of me wonders why I'm being so open with him. Then again, everything about the way I act when I'm around Jason is a mystery to me. Why not this?

"Sometimes, I find, talking about things makes them hurt less later... not that you have to."

I take a deep breath of the fading autumn air, and then I launch into the story giving as few details as I can get away with. Maem and Daed always joke that I have a daily word cap when it comes to speaking, and it's very low. Once I reach the cap, I get snippy. I can't say they're wrong.

Thankfully, Jason doesn't stop to ask questions, he just listens and strolls. I follow his lead as I have no clue where I'm going, and I'm focusing on the story. Broken girl meets whole boy and new family. She pines away years and years after boy, when one day he is all hers and life is perfect—nearly perfect. Gramps and Grams are still gone and the girl lives in constant fear of who is next. Of being left alone. Of one day, not being able to recover from the pain. Then, out of the blue, the boy lays down an ultimatum the girl cannot live up to. She loses him, and all the parts of herself he was holding together. He goes through with the choice that separates them forever. Girl runs away to a new world to try to learn to breathe again. 

"You seem to be doing okay," he says when I'm done.

"Maem and Daed say that too, but I don't feel okay—I mean, I suppose I'm better, but I... I still love him." I fiddle with one of the buttons on the parka. "And he doesn't... feel that way about me..." 

Jason's arm wraps around me, holding me together as I perch on the edge of losing composure.

"Thanks," I mumble, but through the fresh pain, there is a bit of lightness, a very small bit. "I haven't been able to talk to anyone... I'd rather not—"

"I won't say a word."

We walk on a few more yards, Jason still holding me together. "How about you... with Sarah? What's the deal?"

He lowers his arm and clasps his hands behind his back. 

"You don't have to answer," I add, curiously.

Jason sighs. "Sarah and I are complicated." 

I keep my lips sealed waiting as we pass a family taking a photo with a selfie-stick on a park bench.

"Sarah and I first started dating after my parents died. She was still in school. I was feeling lost." He gazes over at me, his eyes beseeching. "I was a horrible example to Teddy for a little over a year. We were living with my grandparents. They put their foot down and insisted, if I wanted to live with them, I attend church. So, I did. And, eventually, fire caught." He gazes up at the sky for a moment. "Sarah has a hard time understanding the change in me, but I made sure to show her I still loved her."

"You proposed," the words slipped out.

He nodded. "She's a couple of years younger than me, and her father wanted her to finish school first. So we waited, and she planned and planned and planned," he chuckles, but then his eyes go dark and he gazes at the path. "The date had been set for September 6th, 2014. On September 2nd, I woke to Teddy's screams. Gramps had died in his sleep. Teddy found him." 

I press my fingers to my lips. "That's awful."

Jason nods. "We postponed the wedding."

"How did Sarah take that?" I ask in almost a whisper.