Wandering Alone

Chapter 4

"Oh...well you could eat here if you would like."  I said, giving him a hopeful smile.  Yes, I was fully aware of just how desperate I sounded, but I was starving for some normal human interaction.  He nodded, following me into the kitchen.  I was surprised he knew how to cook, he was actually able to teach me a few things.  I watched as he defrosted the chicken in the microwave and placed the rice in the pan.  When the chicken was thawed, he placed it on a cutting board and cut off the extra fat.  Then, he took lemon juice, garlic, and oregano and smeared the seasonings on the raw meat.

He smiled at me as he dropped them into the sizzling skillet, beckoning me over.  I hesitantly walked to him, wondering what he was up to.  He grabbed my right hand, placing a spatula in it, and turned me to face the stove.  Before I even realised what was happening he had one hand on my hip, and one hand guiding my actions as I flipped the chicken in the pan.  My heart was racing from his actions, mostly from anxiety, though.  It took everything within me not to flinch away from his touch.

Twenty minutes later out food was ready and on our plates, steaming hot.  Zane dug in, taking mouthful after mouthful, while I hesitated.  I really did not want a repeat of earlier, especially in front of Zane.  He looked at me, raising one eyebrow.  "Is something wrong?"  He asked.

"Oh no, it's just...I'm not hungry."  I absentmindedly stirred my rice, watching it roll around on my plate.  I looked back up at him, startled he was still staring at me.  His eyes were glistening, almost as if he knew all my secrets.

"That happens a lot to my sister.  Why don't you try to eat some rice?"  How was he so knowledgeable?  It was infuriatingly refreshing.  I nodded, regretting it.  Slowly, I took a fork full of rice to my mouth, and pulled the fork out again.  It was the best rice I had ever tasted.  The chilly powder and bell peppers tasted great with the white rice.  I chewed and swallowed, eagerly taking another bite.  And then my stomach began to churn.  I dropped my fork half way to my mouth, grabbing my cup of water and drinking it all.

Zane eyed me suspiciously, but didn't comment.  I sighed again, sitting back in my chair.  At least I had eaten something.  I smiled, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I would be able to get back to normal. 

Normal, what a foreign thought...

When we were done eating, Zane helped me load the dishes in the dishwasher.  He was just so sweet.  Slowly we walked to the door, not quite knowing what to do or what we had been doing the whole time.  What would you even call it?  I coughed, shifting my weight.  Zane just looked at the pictures on the wall.

"Why don't you give me your number?"  He asked.  I nodded and punched the numbers into his phone, hitting the 'save' button.  "I've really got to go now...Why don't you come with me?"  I was taken aback.  Was he actually inviting me?  Was it possible?  I couldn't believe it, someone was actually showing an interest in me.

"I...I can't.."  I said.  I really couldn't.  I was an atheist, decided and done.  There was no god, and he certainly did not love me.  He nodded, like he was expecting that answer.

"Alright, see you later."  He walked out the door, waving a hand over his head.  There was something in his eyes, like he didn't want to leave me alone.  And then it hit me; he was worried that as soon as her left I would go back to the gun.  That's why he had spent so much time with me.

As soon as I closed the door, I considered going to get the gun, but something stopped me.  Zane.  Thoughts of him flashed through my head, muddling my thoughts.  It was then that I knew I couldn't do it.  I was way to curious to see what his interest was in me.  I quickly made my way up the stairs and into my room, planning to go sleep.  I took a quick shower, relieved that the stress left my body.  After that, I slid into my pajamas and into my bed, welcoming the warmth.

I could feel myself drifting from the world, falling into sleep.  For the first time in what felt lie forever I wasn't tossing and turning.  My thoughts became confused, half of everything was a dream, and yet I was still awake.  Then, when I was finally about to drop off, something buzzed. I groaned and opened my eyes, looking at my phone on my dresser.  It was buzzing and lighting up.  I reached out one arm, flinching from the cold.  I blinked, attempting to get used to the bright light of the screen as I looked at it. 

One new message from: Unknown.

I clicked on it, heart racing.  It was him.

Demitra, I really, really hope you had a good evening.  Youth group was great for me, except I was distracted all night.  Honestly, I was worried about you.  And, - please forgive me if you find this insulting somehow - I think that I may like you.  It caught me off guard too, so please don't think I'm a creeper.  I'm really not, but I think you're a genuine, sweet person and that's very attractive in a girl.  It's so rare these days.

Sweet dreams,

Zane.