Always

Deal or No Deal

Coin's eyes narrow dangerously, but I hold my ground. Finally, she says, "And why would I do that?"

"Because," I reply evenly. "If you agree, I'll be your Mockingjay."

Everyone takes in shocked breaths and smile widely, clapping each other on the back. But coin continues to stare at me with a face full of no emotion. I'll give them what they want. . .but only if I get what I want.

"Fine, but you have to perform to my standards." Coin tells me and I nod my head.

"I will once you announce this to the district."

"Any other demands?" She asks me and looks slightly irritated.

"Yes, my sister gets to keep her cat." I begin to turn away but stop and return facing Coin. "And I kill Snow."

Alma Coin smiles a devilish grin and her eyes are a shiny grey when she speaks. "When the time comes, I'll flip you for it."

I stand in front of the door to compartment 307, the new home of the Everdeens. My mother and Prim. A pang of guilt hits me because I know I haven't visited nearly as often as I probably should have, but I was so consumed with Peeta's sacrifice and haunted by nightmares of his torture that most days it was hard enough to get out of bed, especially during my first week out of the hospital. Then I spent the majority of my time after that listening for the whispers and campaigning to see the ruins of District 12. I should have made more of an effort to see my family, especially considering that they actually saw our home burn.

Tentatively, I knock on the door. Seconds later it opens to reveal my mother, and we stare at each other for a moment before she steps away from the door, allowing me to enter. My relationship with my mother has regressed back to how it was before the reaping of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. Except this time, it's not I that holds the resentment. It's my mother. Though maybe resentment isn't the best term. More like a mix of anger and disappointment.

She's not exactly thrilled that she's going to be a grandmother. After returning from my first Games, she had said that though she thought Peeta was a nice boy, I was too young to have a boyfriend. So, naturally, the fact that we were engaged nearly six months later wasn't a great cause for joy. She never said anything of course. Confrontation isn't my mother's way. But I do think that my mother thought that there was one line that I wouldn't cross, and that was allowing myself to get pregnant. Maybe it's because of my frigid stance on the subject for so long, but my pregnancy genuinely shocked my mother. And now she's been giving me the cold shoulder since we came to 13.

"I brought some things from the house," I say to her. "When I went to 12 today."

I reach into my game bag and hand her the wedding photo and the plant book. My mother takes the photo first, trailing her fingers over my father's picture. "Thank you, Katniss," she says gratefully, her eyes shimmering with tears. She places the photo and the plant book on the dresser, and I turn to Prim, who has been sitting on the bed, silently watching the exchange between me and our mother.

"And this little guy was looking for you in your room." I tell her while pulling buttercup out of the game bag.

"Buttercup!" She squeals and pulls him close to her. Prim smiles up at me, and my mother clears her throat delicately.

"Well, I'm needed at the hospital," she says and then without another word walks out the door.

Prim and I are silent for a few moments when Prim says, "She'll get better," she assures me. "She's just shocked."

"Yeah, well so was I." I retort, my hand coming up to rest on my stomach. "It's not like we planned it."

I take a seat beside Prim on the bed and we're both quiet for a moment before Prim asks, "Is it true? That you agreed to be the Mockingjay?"

"Yeah." I rub my stomach absently. "It's the only way I can get Peeta back."

"Did you do it just for him, or because you want to help the cause?"

I sigh. "Maybe both? But it's mostly for Peeta. The Capitol aired an interview of him with Caesar Flickerman, and Peeta explained what happened the last night in the arena." I pause, remembering how wholesome he'd looked, even if it couldn't hide the pain in his eyes. "He admitted that we were both Rebels. But then he called for a cease-fire . . . and everyone thought that he was a traitor."

"Snow just made him say that," Prim says sharply, looking angry. "Peeta would never side with the Capitol."

I smile, knowing that Peeta would be touched that Prim thinks so highly of him. "I know that. But Coin was going to try him as a war criminal if we win the war, and I couldn't allow that. I wanted them to rescue him, but they shot me down. Then Haymitch suggested that they offer him immunity, and they eventually agreed. We included the other captured victors as well."

"So what will they make you do?" she asks hesitantly. "I mean, they wouldn't send you out there, would they?"

"No," I shake my head. "I don't think so, and if they try, Haymitch will make them reconsider."

Prim laughs a little. "It's not good to be on his bad side."

"Everyone is on his bad side," I say dryly before adding with a fond smile, "Except for you, little duck."

"You're smiling again," Prim points out softly. "It's nice to see."

Of course, at her words my smile falters, and Prim takes my hand comfortingly. "It's just so hard, Prim," I confess quietly. "Without him with me I'm just . . . lost. And I hate it. I feel like I'm being so weak, but I can't help it. It's like a part of me is missing, and there's this huge, gaping hole within me. It hurts."

"A part of you is missing, Katniss." Prim squeezes my hand. "Peeta is your other half. I know that I'm much more of a romantic than you are," she adds with a delicate blush. "But I don't think that you're being weak. I think you're being really strong. A weak person would have already crumbled. You're still fighting, Katniss. And Peeta's fighting, too."

"Katniss," she says sternly. "Peeta is strong, you know that. How else could he have survived all that he has?"

Memories invade my mind. Peeta has survived a lot. In our first Games, he survived the battle at the Cornucopia, and he wasn't as skilled then as he is now. He fought Cato and survived that terrible cut to his leg. He fought through all of those mutts and survived. Then in the Quell, after being revived, he still had the strength to run from the fog and fight off all those monkeys even though he was most likely on the brink of collapse.

"I know that you and Peeta are practically polar opposites," Prim says softly. "But you're both alike in the fact that you can endure." I try to be comforted by Prim's words, even if by 'endure' she means that Peeta can endure the torture inflicted by the Capitol. " Katniss, they might be able to beat him and break his body, but they'll be able to break his soul. He has too much to fight for."

You'll never loose me, I'm always around.

As I pull the covers back and lay down in the bed, I can't help but notice how empty it feels. I stare at the empty pillow next to me. My hand rests where it always has, but instead of feeling a warm, strong chest beneath my fingertips, I feel the scratchy material of the bed sheets. Without his body lying next to me, the bed feels cold, no matter how many extra blankets I manage to swindle. Without him lying next to me, the bed is too big. Too lonely.

"I love you." I cry into his shirt that I'm wearing. The scent of dill and cinnamon still lingers on it and it manages to calm my nerves. "I need you Peeta, please don't stop fighting. I'll find you, I promise."

Goodnight Katniss

"Goodnight Peeta."

A.N and that's it! I hope y'all liked it and make sure to comment/ vote for it! See ya next week!