V is for Violet (COMPLETE)

Chapter Twelve- I Am a F*cking Idiot

Vitale

"F*ck, f*ck, f*ck," I cursed to myself as I stormed down the hallway to my bedroom. What was is about that d*mned girl that made me constantly lose all control and sense of reason?

One minute we'd been sparring, and the next I had been throwing her over my shoulder, slapping her firm little a$$, and flinging her against the matted wall so I could steal the kiss I'd been craving from her. It might have been easier to stop myself if she tried to stop me, but her delicate artist's hands went to my hair, and the taste of her mouth was offered all too willingly. I drank up the taste of her lips, the press of our tongues, and when I stopped, I immediately told her how unbelievably attractive she was and went to teasing the skin of her neck with my teeth.

I wanted to devour her. Every last inch of her body. I wanted to touch her, taste her. I wanted to know her, and learn the sounds she made when she was overcome by raw pleasure. I wanted to own her. I had since I'd met her, and it had only gotten worse. And I couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same...

No. I had to get my sh*t together. That's why when Violet had given me that challenging look that all but dared me, begged me to take her right then and there in the fitness room, I had backed away from her before storming out.

I needed to clear my head.

As I paced the balcony attached to my room, I realized one thing; I was the biggest godd*mned idiot on the planet. I didn't know which was worse; the fact that I had let myself lose control and kiss Violet again, or that I had left her in the gym instead of taking the opportunity to do all the unspeakable things I wanted to do with her.

And that was the worst part about it. I wanted to do things with her, and not just to her. I was fascinated by her completely, from the way she stood up like a bada$$ b*tch to the monsters of men in the Estate, to the way she became soft and intellectual when she painted. From the way she danced like there would be no tomorrow, to the way she could fight as well as half of my Crew. She had a deep love of the arts, a shockingly strong sense of loyalty to her late sister, and a fiery streak that didn't seem to ever go out.

That, and she was far too sexy for her own good.

I could feel myself slipping sometimes when it was just Violet and me. I could feel my thoughts drifting towards implausible outcomes where I could be with her without worrying about my Family or position. I could feel... Well, feelings, and that was a problem. When she'd died on the table, I'd almost lost my mind. Just a little over three weeks and she had already buried herself under my skin. I just needed to figure out how to cut her out before I did something stupid.

And so, the next day, when I would usually be going to the gym to meet up with Violet, I went to my room and read. It was difficult-- all I wanted to do was go back in there and spend my evening talking and training with her-- but I managed to stay away. For three whole days, I managed to stay away, even avoiding seeing or talking to her outside of mealtimes. Helping run the Family was busy, so that helped too. But, by the fourth day, I was going insane without my usual physical outlet, especially after the task of assassinating a Russian soldier who'd been after one of our top strippers earlier that day, and so I went to the gym to train.

To be honest, I wasn't expecting her to be there. I figured she'd have given up after I left the room, or when I didn't show up the next few nights, so when I walked into the gym to see her, I froze in my step for a moment.

Violet's back was to me, and in the sports bra she wore, I could see almost all of her tattooed back. She'd explained how the lilies on her shoulder were for her sister, Alice Lily Harcourt, and how the quote from "Invictus" that stretched down her spine was her motivation when she picked up Krav Maga, but she still hadn't told me what the quote on her left side was for. "I was never insane, except upon occasions when my heart was touched," accompanied by a raven. It was an Edgar Allan Poe quote, but that was all I knew. Perhaps she just enjoyed the quote, or maybe she identified with it more than I knew.