Now Is The Time

Chapter 1

     "SEE YOU!!"

     Of late, I've come to believe this has gone way up the list on my favourite English phrases roster as it means another live performance is over and I made it through alive with my sanity intact. Don't get me wrong, I love performing. I love the crew and our fans and I am eternally grateful to them for getting us to this point. It's just that our performances are extremely taxing physically and mentally, as you must be well aware. And for those of you who aren't, let me tell you they are quite brutal. The physical trial lies in our high-energy requiring choreography with intermittent "screams" and the practically no breather time in between songs. Mentally, it mostly nerves for me, though I'm pretty sure I'm not alone here. What if something goes wrong. What if I screw up. You really can't get used to it. And it's not just nerves about being in front of thousands of people, that's really the least of my problems. The fact that it's not just about me is what's scary. It's not just my career on the line, but the whole teams'. The weight of the team is on each of our shoulders, but this does nothing to lighten the load when the time to play our respective part comes. At the end of the day, it is you who have to play your part and you can't rely on your teammates as they are in the same predicament. And you can't forget about the fans who paid good money and most of whom are emotionally invested. You can't afford to let them down. So it's always a huge relief for us when we get through concerts without any major glitch.

     Walking backstage with Su-chan and Moa towards our dressing room, I look at them and I can see that we're all pretty much spent. After the initial "it's finally over"..."good job"-s, we let the moment pass in silence, getting some wind back. We'd been told before the show that we'd be taking a post-live photo with the band so we can't get out of our dresses yet. Man! I'd kill for a nice long bath right about now. Letting the hot water work its magic on my strained muscles, or maybe I should use an icy cold water for a change. I wonder if the hotel can provide that much ice. Maybe just a little amount of ice would do the trick as well. But if...

"Yui, if you could change your pose every now and then."

     Huh! Oh, the band's here...and the camera's in front of us already? I don't even remember holding up the kitsune sign *sigh* I should really stop living inside my head. Okay okay. Smile. Smile. Kitsune up...and down. Aaaand smile.

                                          ____________________________

     I'm the first to finish changing and I plop down on the couch waiting for them to finish. Moa approaches me as she's putting on her sweatshirt. "You know, Yui, the world outside your head isn't so bad. You should try venturing out sometimes."

Su-chan laughs aloud from the back.

Moa, you little...

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," I retort. "But seriously, I know I'm getting worse. It's true, right? I'll do my best to stop myself from here on out, but I need your help too, to snap me out of it when I fail to do so myself."

     Moa sits next to me and looking out from the corner of her eyes, smirks, "And deprive ourselves of one of the most entertaining shows in the world? No way. I'm pretty sure the fans would agree with me on this point, right, Su-chan?" This gets an "uh huh" from Su-chan. "But in all seriousness, it's very calming seeing you like that, off in your own world away from your physical surrounding. It's kind of like an unwinding therapy to see you like that, like you're in your element, I guess, especially after a long day, and I think the same goes for yourself too, to be like that."

"Oh come on, be cool you guys," I playfully nudge Moa and she grins. "I don't want to be stuck with the 'ditz' label," I whine, "I can't possibly take that away from Su-chan." Moa laughs aloud while Su-chan who has been laughing at our conversation stops abruptly. I turn to see her stick her tongue out making a face at me. I laugh sheepishly and quickly turn around.

     The heck. An unwinding therapy, huh? I guess this holds true in some sense. I mean it got worse just as our schedule became really hectic with the world tour and all. And I do tend to ease up a bit during these little trips of mine. Hah. I guess these girls really do know me best.

"Yui. Stop grinning and let's go. Our ride's here."

     I look up to see Moa in front of me holding out my bag, and Su-chan waiting at the door. I take the bag from Moa and head out after them towards the minivan waiting outside.

                                          ____________________________

     I love riding around at night, especially in the cities as the whole scenery seem to pulse with a whole new energy under the bright lights. The tinted window of the car adds to the mystery as it shields me and makes me invisible to the outside, bestowing on me some kind of superpower that lets me sneak a peek at visions seemingly outside the realm of my existence. The images captured by my eyes can never be reproduced through any manmade lens so I refrain from using cameras during such times. The scenes flit from one to the next, flashing past one another in quick succession so you can never hold onto them. But it is in this transience that the beauty of the scenery lies. All you can do is try to capture the most you can and imprint them in your memory, hoping your brain stays true to the visions.

     Moa putting her head on my shoulder stops my train of thought. She must be really tired. Lately, every time we're in a car we've been sitting in this order, Moa in the middle with Su-chan and I on either side. But I'm not complaining. I'm guessing Moa intentionally does this since she knows I like looking out at the view. She's immensely considerate, and it shows in the little things she do. The way she is towards me, I sometimes feel like I'm way younger than her though I'm actually older than her. But these days I'm trying my best to become more mature so that she can depend on me much as I have been depending on her...wait. Did she just blink? I thought she was asleep. Yikes! Gotta stop staring...look away. She horrifyingly good at reading me so if I let my guard down I'm done for. I can't ever slip up, not if I want to remain close to her like I am right now. I can't ever.

                                          ____________________________