Roommates with a Player

Chapter Eight: Secrets, Secrets, Are So Fun

It was like there was a giant gap in the tree. I could see the sky directly, the tip of the sun poking its head out. The sky was a dark purple and pink stained the bottom. It was breathtaking.

“Isn’t it pretty?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I breathed. “How’d you find this view?”

“I worked here all summer and sometimes, slept the night over. I would always wake up earlier than the other gardeners and found this little nook. It’s wonderful.”

We let the beauty seep in until the sun was halfway up from the ground. I was leaning against the trunk, using Nate’s blazer as a blanket. He looked down at me with a smile.

“Tell me a secret, Emma.” Nate said. This random subject startled me.

“I don’t know,” I said, trying to search for a harmless secret to share. Nothing came to mind. “Tell me one first; maybe that’ll get my mind going.”

“Alright.” He said, agreeing to the terms.

I waited in silence for a few minutes as he thought of something. I still couldn’t conjure up a good thing to tell him. Suddenly, Nathan whispered something.

“I tried to commit suicide a year ago.”

It was almost inaudible; just an exhale of breath. I stood completely still, letting this soak in. I gazed up at Nathan with awe. Had he really just said that?

“Why?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“My younger brother died in a car crash. He meant everything to me,” Nathan’s voice cracked at the end and I winced, feeling his pain. I didn’t know what to say; there was nothing I could say. “I couldn’t deal with his death and tried to follow in his steps by overdosing, but my parents found me before it was too late. I was saved and this summer, put to work as a gardener to help ‘ease me soul’.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and lifted my hand to rest on his arm. His skin was smooth and milky. I looked up and saw a different Nathan. This Nathan looked broken and worn. His eyes were glassy and he looked as if he was off in some faraway place. I drew circles with my thumb into his skin and studied him carefully. He didn’t come out of his stupor for a while.

Finally, he looked down at me. “I’ve never told anyone that. Thank you for listening to me.”

I gave a nod. His hand rested on my own and he smiled. “Now you have to tell me yours, Em.”

“I didn’t cry at my parent’s funeral,” I said bitterly. “I didn’t shed a damn tear. And for some reason, that makes me feel guilty about it all. Like, it didn’t even faze me that they died.”

I felt the tears rising up, clenching in my throat and making me gulp loudly. Nathan massaged my hand, his turn to comfort me. I sat still on the tree limb, fighting back the tears. I sucked in a deep breath and drew back my hand.

“Emma?” He asked warily. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, handing him his blazer. “I’m okay. But, I think I need to go and start getting ready for school. Watching the sunset with you was fun. We need to do it again.”

Nathan looked at me suspiciously, but nodded and we went our separate ways; he left through the back entrance and I scooted towards the house, feeling more tired than ever. I checked my watch and amazingly, an hour had passed by. I quickened my pace and peered up to see my room, which was very visible from the garden. I could see the pink glowing from inside; no wonder Nate didn’t have a trouble finding my room.

I turned to look at Ricky’s room and stopped abruptly, surprised.

Ricky stared down at me from the garden, an angry look on his face. Had he been watching me the whole time?

“What a creep.” I muttered and raised my hand to flip him off. I saw his mouth drop and the curtain dropped back into place as Ricky moved from the window. I smiled, satisfied.

I crept back into my room and got ready for school without any interruptions. I heard the Stephens down in the kitchen and decided not to join them. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan. I would have never known he had felt like that. I picked up my phone and tapped him a text message.

Thx 4 sharing ur secret w/ me this morning. It meant a lot. I won’t tell a soul! U do the same 4 me! If u ever need any1 to talk 2, plz tell me Nate! Xox, Em.

I hope Nathan didn’t look too far into that ‘xox’. I hit send and about 30 seconds later, a reply arrived.

No problem Em. Thx 4 understanding. U r a doll! Xoxooo Nate!

I smiled, a warm feeling growing in my heart. Michelle called me down from the kitchen and I scampered out of my room, grabbing my backpack and tucking my phone into my skirt pocket. With few words said, I took a bite of food and headed for Ricky’s truck, eager to see Nathan again at school.