Mirror Mirror Can't You See, What You Show Is Killing Me

Strays [Chapter 7]

That night I do what I've done countless times before, sneak out the window.

Honestly, I'm not a bad kid or anything, I just. . .

Everything is prettier at night. The flowers are bathed in silvery moonlight, the trees a soft grey. I come out here when I need to think. I can't do it in daylight, the night loses it's magic when touched by the sun. 

I think of the sun as a destructive force, burning away at you, drying you up. You're forced to let out tears to water the sun-beaten ground. 

The moon is a healing force, with a gentle kiss, it wipes away your tears, running it's cool hand across your cheeks. 

The best part of all, I don't feel like a total freak at night. In the daytime I'm a fat girl trying so desperately hard to be skinny, but at night, the fight is over. I'm never hungry after dark. 

The window squeaks as push it open and I freeze. Did anyone hear that? No, I'm safe. I slip out and jump to the ground, relieved. I make my way over to the trampoline in our yard, and climb on. Stretching out, I look up.

Stars.

They take my breath away, fill me with hope. The sun may wear you down , burn you up. But there's always stars, pinpricks of light, thousands of miles away.

They burn just for you.

They feel like the one thing in this world I can control. My parents, they never notice me. It's all about my brothers. They can do no wrong. 

My weight. . .It's not really mine, it's Amaya's too, she controls me and what I eat. Her eyes are always watching. 

Ky, he's amazing, he's everything I've ever wanted. He's there for me whenever I need him, and he never complains about having to put up with me. He's like my own personal star. 

Speaking of which, I better get going.

Every Friday night, and whenever else we call a meeting, we go to this abandoned shack on the east side. It's had a for sale sign forever, and the price is always lowering to get someone to buy it. But no one ever will, not after what happened there two years ago. 

Me, and my best friends, Cassidy, Abby, and Kat, were drunk. We knew what we were doing, we had planned it millions of times, but this time we decided it was the night. The stars were beautiful, shining in all their glory. 

We all had our reasons. 

For Cassidy,  it was her parents. They didn't care about her, and she was abused. Her life was spiraling out of control, she started smoking, and doing drugs. She couldn't take it anymore.

For Abby, it was her ex, Dakota. He moved away, and he broke up with her because he thought she deserved better. She missed him so much, and when she found out he died in a car crash on the way to his new house, she decided to join him.

For Kat, it was bullying. She had started her life with a best friend, Breanna. Her and Breanna had been friends since 2nd grade, having had the same classes every year. But Breanna left her for the preppy's. After that, she went through many best friends. All left her for someone "better". All except us. We wanted to make sure we would always be together, and she was moving next week

For me, it wasn't so much that I had a reason to die. I just didn't see the need to keep living. I was tired of going to sleep hoping to never wake up again. 

So that night, we met up at the old house.

Cassidy brought the spray paint.

Abby, the rope. 

Kat brought the papers.

And I. . . Well, I brought the knives. 

We sprayed the walls with words, everything we've ever wanted to say, but couldn't. We told society what it had made us, and why we were so messed up. 

On the paper, we wrote our notes, good-byes and apologies. 

With the knives, we dug into our wrists, our thighs, our stomachs. We made the scars on the inside show on the outside. 

Our blood littering the ground, we finished off the night.

For good. 

Hands shaking, we tied the ropes, nooses symbolizing the end.

We kicked the chairs away, and dropped. 

Our parents had by then found that we were missing. Someone had seen the flashlights at the old house and put two and two together, calling 911. 

Cassidy, Abby, and Kat all died before the police got there.

There was something wrong with my rope though, it was frayed, and broke. I hit the ground and only lost the use of my legs for 3 months. My best friends lost their lives.

Now, we meet up at this house to remember who we lost.

My best friend, Kiara, was Kat's twin sister. 

Riley was Cassidy's boyfriend, he never moved on.

Maddie was Abby's older sister, she never understood.

And Ky, he came because of me. He knew who I was, and he had a crush on me. He found me crying the day before and held me. He was planning on asking me out the day after. He told me all this in the hospital. 

We met up every Friday night, and told stories about them. But we were never the same again. Kiara lost her popularity, Riley stopped talking to anyone but us. Maddie quit the cheerleading team. Ky and I were already outcasts.

We are the strays.