From Protector To Lady

From Protector To Lady Chapter 15

"Is that what you think?! You think I detest you?!" He scoffed, his face holding what was almost humor.

"Oh yes, wonderful! Now mock me, just wonderful!" I said as I put my hands on my hips, clenching my skirts, hoping it would stop my trembling hands from lashing out.

"You are so foolish, I do not detest you in any way! That is exactly the problem. I wish to! I wish to want nothing to do with you, but I cannot. Every muscle in my body screams when I watch you with the prince. I am jealous to my very core. Never before have I wished to be another man," He said, his voice deep and dangerous, his eyes saying everything his words did not.

In my frustration, his words did not calm me down in the slightest. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I feared he could hear it. My heart was dancing with what he told me but my mind knew better. My mind would not let my heart be hopeful. I spoke out vehemently,

"Well, excuse me but I think I will just go back to the ball to be with a man who is actually courageous enough to be somewhat forward with me, instead of acting like some childish dolt who throws a tantrum because he cannot handle any emotion on the positive spectrum of life," I said as I pushed him hard on the chest. Turning on my heel, I stomped off, intending on returning to the ball.

"At least Philip knows what it is he wants," I called out in one last quick lash.  

I had absolutely no interest in being with Philip. I spoke the words only with the hopes of cutting Stanton, searching for a reaction.

"Rebecca," Stanton called from behind me, his voice holding authority. "Stop."

"No! I will not! You are a foolish crone and I will not waste my time playing petty games with you. I will not be another piece in your puzzle of conquests," I said as I craned my neck, looking behind me. I was surprised to see that he was jogging behind me, his face holding a slight smile as he shook his head. What an arrogant man...smiling, as if this is some sort of playful encounter when only moments before he was angry and annoyed.

"Leave me be!" I said as I turned back around, my nose in the air.

"Rebecca," Stanton said gently as he grabbed my wrist from behind me. "Did you not hear what I just told you?"

He spun me around to face him, his incredibly blue eyes searching my face, his hand still holding my wrist in front of his chest, warmth radiating from his skin to mine.

"Yes, I heard every word that came from your impish mouth," I spat as I turned my face, looking to the side. I should not have come out here. He is playing games with me. I was foolish to have followed him. I cannot get involved with him in any way.

"Then I believe we both know the truth. I do know what I want," he spoke gently.

"No, Stanton. You don't know what you want," I said as I turned from him again. "You are just a cold, heartless man who takes pride in many conquests of women. You wish nothing from me but to add me to your count. I will not be another victory of yours, Stanton. I will not be one of the women you take only to throw her away," I spoke, my heart clenching in my chest at the rejection I brought upon myself. I began walking away from him, expecting him to let me go. Instead, his grip on my wrist tightened and he pulled me back to his chest again but this time he firmly wrapped an arm around my waist.

"What on earth do you think you're doing? Stanton, I just told you that I wish to have no part in this. I am not one of those foolish women who you can just ——" I was cut off as his hand dropped my wrist and cupped my cheeks, his lips crashing down onto mine only a second later.

My entire mind was blank as my body froze for a moment before it reacted on its own. I pushed myself into him, my hands tangling in his hair, soft and lush.

His smooth lips tasted of sweet ale and I found myself lost in them. My blood was lightning in my veins, my entire body electrified by the kiss of this man.

A second later I put my hands on his chest, pushing him back, separating our bodies, surprised by the ache I felt deep within myself.

"I," I stuttered, flustered. "That, we..."

"Don't speak, please," Stanton said as he brought his mouth back to mine. His lips, sweet soft petals, massaged mine gently. I gasped when his tongue ran like ice across my bottom lip. Sensing my hesitation, he pulled back before resting his forehead on mine, his arms encircling my waist.

"Stanton," I said, taking a deep breath. "I cannot do this."

"You cannot do what?" He asked as he straightened up, his eyes confused.

"This," I motioned with my hand between the two of us. "I do not know how."

"And you think I do?" He asked, incredulous.

"No, well...I do not know. I..I must leave. I am going to go back to my chambers. I'm sorry, I will see you again tomorrow," I said as I shook my head, my voice trembling.

I walked off quickly, hoping I could retrace my steps and find my way back to my chambers; I was relieved when he did not call after me.

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I am a fool!

Why would I do such a thing? Why did I grab her, touch her? Kiss her? That woman did things to me none other could. I was not in control of myself when I was near her. My mouth said things I did not want it to; my body reacted in ways on its own. It was something I was not used to and something I did not enjoy.

I slammed my hand hard against the stone wall of my chambers, the fire crackling behind me. This is absolutely absurd. I am a grown man, I should be able to handle myself and I should certainly be able to handle a woman. She is just that – a woman. I will not have my mind overtaken by one simple woman. I have had many women, why should this one be able to intrude my mind and thoughts at all times?

Sighing, I stormed out of my chambers with intentions of seeking out company for the night – no one woman will ever control my heart or my desires. Warming the beds of many women is what I have done and what I will continue to do. Many women have tried to become my only, it will not happen.

Walking swiftly down the halls and exiting the palace, I walked through to Somersham, thinking my options through. There were many households I would be able to go to and be welcomed into with willing arms.